Developing Healthy Boundaries In Your Marriage
Posted on September 04, 2011 by Cherese Jackson
People go through great lengths to protect their physical boundaries while ignoring the importance of their marital boundaries.
At the base of many problems that surface in a marriage, boundaries seems to trump the list. For some reason, once we are married we seem to throw away the ideal of our partner’s boundaries and ignore the very principles that were paramount when we met.
Boundaries are of vital importance. They help us establish where we begin and another ends. They enable us to have our own voice by liberating us with the truth that we have the right to speak up for ourselves. In life like in marriage, it is very difficult to connect with someone who does not respect boundaries or have any for themselves. Our relationships will flow more harmoniously when the participants know what to expect and what is expected of them. Often, this seems absolutely normal and expectable in every setting except the marriage.
A successful marriage is composed of two individuals; each with a clear defined sense of his or her own identity. Without our own understanding of self, who we are and what makes us so unique, it is difficult to engage in the process of an ongoing relationship in a way that functions smoothly and enhances each of the partners. We need a sense of self in order to clearly communicate our needs and desires to our partner. When we have a strong understanding of our own identity, we can appreciate and love those qualities in our partner that make him or her a unique person. The similarities between two people may bring them together but their differences contribute to the growth, excitement and the mystery of their relationship. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure and an exercise in personal liberation. Boundaries are an ever present reality that can increase your capacity to relate one to another.