How to overrule the "gremlin"
Posted on March 08, 2020 by Mos' Okediji, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
This article shares insights and tips on how to deal with the inner critic so you can listen to your authentic self and avoid self-sabotage
I can’t achieve it.
I’m not qualified.
I’ll be rejected.
I’m not yet ready to write the book.
I’ll never be published.
I’ll fail at this again.
I’ll stay in “my lane.”
I’ll go on a trip when I lose 20 pounds.
Sounds familiar? I recognize these stories, I have heard them in my head times without number.
I don’t think the “judgy gremlin” needs an introduction, but I would like to paint a vivid picture. Imagine an invisible creature who has no purpose but to cause errors, sabotage progress, demean people, oppress people, cause self-doubt, and is just flat out nasty! What do you think this mischievous character sounds like, looks like, or smells like?
The gremlin (saboteur or inner critic) concept embodies a group of thought processes and feelings that maintain the status quo in our lives – the comfort zone. Often serving as a structure that seems to protect us, it, in fact, keeps us from progressing and achieving what we truly desire. This leads us to believe stories that make us feel like a fraud. These stories are particularly amplified if you are a woman or an underrepresented minority.
It is natural but yet so uncomfortable to listen to these self-sabotaging voices. In my experience, when I’m about to take a step towards something exceptional, the gremlin or inner critic tells me deprecating stories to lure me into maintaining the status quo. Heck, when I considered writing this article, it tried to discourage me, but I’ve learned a few lessons from an unusual place. The courtroom. Yes, I love TV legal dramas :-)
State your full name for the record: give the gremlin a name, what does it look like, sound like? This will help you distinguish how it is different from your wise self – the leader in you.
Make your application before the judge: listen to what the gremlin has to say, what case is it presenting? What are the facts and evidence?
Don’t belabor the point, counselor: don’t spend too much time listening to these false narratives than is necessary. You want just enough.
Speak into the microphone: now, this is one witness that is crucial to the case. This witness has seen you overcome barriers, take risks, and is your ever-present ally. I’m talking about the “leader within you.” Take notes about what it has to say about the current situation
Objection overruled: the gremlin is going to try to raise a motion to suppress the evidence your wise-self is presenting. Filter the thoughts and stories through values that are meaningful to you. Who’s voice, will you believe?
Here’s my verdict: Hopefully, the evidence or case presented by your leader within was overwhelming enough for you to reject the narrative that makes you feel like a fraud. Impostor syndrome, anyone?
Hopefully, you chose to take that risk, make that bold step, write that book, share your accomplishment, or whatever your desires are. Listen, as long as you have a pulse, you are naturally resourceful, whole, and creative. You deserve to live a life that is rounded and fully expressed. Apply for that job, write that book, take that trip, launch that side hustle. Enjoy the process, experiment, and embrace failure.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill.
