PRINCIPLE OF COMMUNICATION
This article will help you to learn the true meaning of communication
After mass on Sunday 18th of January 2020, two friends were discussing, though I can’t tell what drew my attention to them but I over-heard one of them saying “Oh, I know exactly how you feel.” “I went through the very same thing. Let me tell you about my experience.”
We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives, listening within their own frame of reference. They’re constantly projecting their own home movies onto others’ behavior.
Communication is the most important skill in life. We spend most of our working hours communicating. But consider this: You’ve spent years learning how to read and write. Years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference?
Seek First to Understand, or Diagnose before You Prescribe, is a correct principle manifest in many areas of life. A wise doctor will diagnose before writing a prescription. A good engineer will understand the forces, the stresses at work, before designing the bridge. An effective salesperson first seeks to understand the needs of the customer before offering a product. Similarly, an effective communicator will first seek to understand another’s views before seeking to be understood. Until people feel properly diagnosed they will not be open to prescriptions.
Therefore let us develop the habit of listening empathetically. Empathic Listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way he or she sees it, and you understand how he or she feels. This does not mean that you agree necessarily, simply that you understand his or her point of view.
OCHEME GODDEY (CAREER AND COMMUNICATION COACH)