Using Love Languages to Foster Healthy Relationship Intimacy!

Posted on May 31, 2020 by Adeela Whittaker, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

What is intimacy? Intimacy is when you engage in a level of vulnerability with your partner and you both feel heard, seen, understood, and safe. Once you unlock this level of openness, sex can be…. well explosive! But how is this level of intimacy created and how do you establish it in a relationship where things are already beginning to fizzle out? One solution is by using you and your partner’s identified love languages to demonstrate affection.

There are 5 love languages; Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. You need to know both your identified love language as well as that of your partner so that you can accurately show love to one another. Imagine if your love language is Quality Time and your partner instead chooses to shower you with gifts… yes, this is nice, but what you really want is a getaway where the two of you can spend uninterrupted time together! If this type of exchange goes on for a substantial period of time without being addressed, it can foster resentment, create emotional distance, and ultimately drive couples apart. But, don’t worry, this can be remedied! Utilize effective communication tools to let your partner know that though you appreciate their efforts, you would much rather spend time together and suggest that instead of lavish gifts, you all spend this money on a romantic trip out of the country or an intricate date night!

The conversation that you have with your partner about love languages is an act of intimacy in itself. It requires a level of exposure, reception, and engagement that puts you on the right path to healthy intimacy. Commit with your partner to respect one another’s love languages and give yourself a goal on how you will use them to engage going forward. Additionally, create a fun and light atmosphere to explore the different love languages, identify which one you most connect with, and communicate to your partner the examples of your preferred way to receive these love languages. For example, if your identified love language is physical touch and you would like for your partner to kiss you every time they leave the home; let that be known so that they do not have to assume what works for you. And visa versa.

If you both commit to engaging with one another by using these love languages, then you are sure to see a spike in your intimacy which will in turn lead to some great sex!! Have fun!!