How Coaching Can Improve Emotional Intelligence

Posted on January 26, 2021 by Susan Jordan MBA MSOD PCC, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

Introduction

Emotional intelligence is the new buzz word on the leadership trajectory. When we thought we had it all, we are now challenged with evidence of new emerging skills. Do we have it? Do we need it? Maybe, and Yes.

• With the development of AI, there is a driving need for Emotional Intelligence skills.
• The McKinsey Group and the Institute for Health and Human Potential suggest that social and emotional skills will grow faster than cognitive skills and account for 85 – 90 percent of what is required for exceptional performance.
• In this post, I’ll provide an overview of Emotional Intelligence and the 4 EI Quotients.
• I’ll provide insight into how coaching can help you develop areas that you are low on emotional intelligence, holding you back, and discovering a way to achieve your outcomes.

What is Emotional Intelligence, and Why Does it Matter?
Emotional intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel and act. It considers the essentials of individual performance, group dynamics, and organizational development. Going back to ancient Greece, Plato said, “all learning has an emotional state.” The popular notion of Emotional Intelligence gained popularity in 1995 with Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence, Why it Can Matter more than IQ. His model featured both inherent abilities and learned skills.

Emotional intelligence recognizes feelings and responds in an appropriate, focused way. These abilities heighten personal performance, empowering relationships, and direct teamwork in a more result-oriented manner.

Emotional Intelligence matters because…
• It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves.
• It defines how and what we learn.
• It allows us to set priorities.
• It determines the majority of our daily actions.
• It helps us avoid being a jerk.
How it Works
The Internal Loop
Emotional intelligence begins with awareness of emotions and temperament. It continues through understanding and moves towards discipline and management. After the initial personal cycle, it connects to the feelings of others.

Emotional Intelligence Quotients
EIQ is a measure of how skilled you are in emotional intelligence.
EIQ is based on two competencies, measured in Recognition and Management.
• the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions (self or intrapersonal)
• the ability to identify, empathize and relate to the feelings of others (social or interpersonal.

Four Quotients of Emotional Intelligence
Self-Recognition – Self-awareness and understanding, and personal acceptance.
Social Recognition – Awareness and consideration of the feelings and responses of others. The ability to empathize and maintain sensitivity to others’ moods and emotions allows for superior intuition and connection.
Self-Management – Self-evaluation coupled with self-regulation. The awareness and discipline to control and harness feelings directly impact the ability to achieve personal objectives and develop an inner resolution.
Social Management – Interpersonal skills and focuses intelligence on generating results. This social intelligence fosters collaboration and connection to tap the power of synergy.
How meeting with a coach can help increase your emotional intelligence.
Signs of low emotional Intelligence
At the risk of sounding like a pharmaceutical ad, are you suffering from

• Feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
• Blames others for problems and complicated solutions
• Subject to emotional outbursts and moodiness
• Gets angry and hostile in conflict and confrontation
• Focuses on competition and winning
• Doesn’t understand what others are thinking and feeling unless told.

Signs of high Emotional Intelligence

Would you rather experience
• Adapt to audiences and situations
• Assumes responsibility and creatively fixes problems
• Be self-disciplined and take responsibility for performance and productivity.
• Manage feelings for positive win/win resolution
• Emphasize abundance thinking, teamwork and collaboration
• Be effective at reading both verbal and nonverbal clues

Ying and Yang

If you are a successful professional, you probably resonate with high and low emotional Intelligenceintelligence statements. This is OK unless a low dynamic intelligence score is an area that is holding you back from where you want to be. For example, you could be very high on the social recognition quotient. You love working with people; you have empathy for their experience, drive teams, and connection. People love being around you and are energized by your presence. Yet, you are low in self-management quotient, so this is at the expense of self-care and initiative. You love ideas, but you never get anything completed.

Tips to Improve Emotional Intelligence

Self-Recognition
• Accept personal fees as information without judgment or rejection.
• Recognize both positive and negative emotions. Focus on the positive.
• Establish the practice of relaxing, refreshing, and renewing through meditation
•
Social Recognition
• Be curious, not judgmental, and interested in other people.
• Be sensitive, appreciative, validating, and respectful of others.
• Reflect on information to adjust communication and behaviors.

Self-Management
• Develop habits of self-control and personal discipline.
• Accept responsibility for behavior, communications, performance, and impact.
• Determine personal boundaries and act assertively.

Social Management
• Resolve conflict judiciously through attention, focus, and problem-solving.
• Involve others through teamwork. Generate synergy through co-operation.
• Get along with difficult people in challenging situations through positive interaction, empathy, dialogue, negotiation, and emotional connection.

How a coach can help.

If you are rolling your eyes at the thought of engaging in any of the tips listed above or thinking, yeah, I know I should, but I don’t know-how, a coach can help. A coach engages in dialogue to find out your aspirations and discover what’s holding you back from achieving them. Once the gap is identified, a coach may start with an assessment such as the EIQ -2 to uncover areas of low emotional intelligence that you may need to improve. A coach will guide you through taking action, hold you accountable, and challenge you to move out of your comfort zone with small steps. It’s a safe space to talk about your journey.

Summary
Developing your Emotional Intelligence in areas you are not as strong in will impact your life both professionally and personally. Take the time to invest in yourself, and discover what’s holding you back from where you want to be. You deserve it!

Author
Susan Jordan, MBA, MSOD, PCC, is a certified professional coach with over 30 years of corporate experience. She helps leaders and emerging leaders of Fortune 500 companies improve emotional intelligence and achieve successful business outcomes. Sphereshift Coaching and Consulting offers individual coaching, corporate consulting, and assessments, including DISC, Motivators, and EIQ-2. They provide virtual workshops and leader development programs.
She is a fellow coach with Better Up and Coachhub, virtual coaching platforms.