The Most Important Quest of Life - Who am I ?
Posted on June 25, 2021 by Charlene Ng, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Seeking the truth to your true self has never been more straightforward with just a question, "Who Am I?" Do you find this intimidating? Read on.
Often we hear people talk about I’ve lost myself, I want to find back my mojo, I just feel something is not right, but I couldn’t put a finger to it. What do they actually mean? The sense of self and identity we carry every day is not exactly the role we play. I would question when you are seeking to find “who am I?” where would you point on your body the sensation of connectedness back to YOURself. A place where you can claim “I AM…”, saying it from your gut, from your heart, with the felt sense of ownership within your body. And your body fires up, connecting back to the origins.
Often we are mistaken for our sense of self with what we have like our job title, where we live, who we married to, social status, family background etc. Things that we care about most on the surface when presenting our self. Is that your true self? Most of us don’t bother about finding who we are, and we get to sweep away by the busyness in life. If we have the time, we will get the more important tasks done first. The report has to be submitted first; the kids need to be in school on time, there’s laundry, dinner, car servicing, home improvement project, that one last conference call of the day, etc. We exhaust ourselves and ask, “Why am I doing this?” We forgot our purpose in life while we don’t have a firm grip on who we are and why “I” matter.
What’s at stake is by not able to say no, not able to set the boundaries, relationships get affected, and we ended up in sleepless nights wondering, “why is my life ended up like this?” Lacking the sense of self can lead us to anxiety, addiction, manipulative and/or co-dependence relationships, emptiness, and lack of self-confidence. Sometimes, we may end up feeling challenging to even make a small decision on our own. We then wonder what other people want from us than what we want for ourselves. We ended up living under other people’s expectation, not knowing what do we really want. It is exhausting and frustrating at the same time to look upon someone else to tell you what you need to do.
When one has a sense of self, it is a natural outcome for them to take ownership of their life. Finding self has no prescription. One has to go through the journey and be willing to explore what’s beneath the iceberg. Learn to acknowledge your own stories from the beginning of your life. There are many clues in our experiences where our stories started. It will be a painful struggle between the true self and the perceived self if we deny all our experiences and background that define who we are today. It may seem easier to judge, stereotype, or even deny and ignore our genuine sense of self.
In fact, we often find ourselves in the repeated patterns, events that we want to avoid. We will miss every life lesson life offers. Learn to listen to your inner voice, intuition, and the most primitive sensation of your body to see the path back to your heart. Look inward. You know how to find the answer.
Finding self is a never-ending journey. As we gain mastery into our own discovery journey, we end up discovering more, and life will throw us more challenging questions to learn more about “Who am I?” This is not a simple question, don’t walk this path alone. The road is too bumpy. Find a coach, a mentor, a few trusted family members or friends to walk with you. You will gain the courage to write the brave new ending that you never knew exists. Be grateful for the opportunity to heal yourself throughout the journey and be thankful to the people who have guided or helped you along the way. Practice gratitude and asking for help with the connections you have.
It’s never too late to embark on this journey of finding self. What are you curious about at this point on “Who am I”?
