Flourishing in Your Dharma at Midlife
Posted on July 07, 2021 by Emilah Dawn DeToro, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
"Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you "I'm not f-ing around. Use the gifts you were given." ~ Brene Brown.
I’d been exploring the intersection of Stephen Cope’s book “The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling”, and Martin E. P. Seligman’s book “Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being” in relation to a blog series when this quote by Brené Brown came across my Facebook feed.
“Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you “I’m not f-ing around. Use the gifts you were given.”
I think she hit the nail on the head.
For some people, midlife comes early – in their mid-30’s. For others, it comes later – in their mid-60’s. But for most of us, it arrives in our 40’s and 50’s. Whether it’s a mild tremor or an earthquake, the Universe asks us to deconstruct and reconstruct our lives in order to use the gifts we were given to offer a meaningful contribution to the planet and her people.
The good news is that “People actually feel happiest and most fulfilled when meeting the challenge of their dharma in the world, when bringing highly concentrated effort to some compelling activity
for which they have a true calling.” (p. xxiv, The Great Work of Your Life)
I believe the intended outcome of the midlife shake-up is to give us the opportunity to step into our dharma (our vocation, calling, or sacred duty in this lifetime) and flourish. So what does it mean to flourish?
According to Seligman’s research (p. 26 & 27, Flourish), the goal of positive psychology and well-being theory…is to increase the amount of flourishing in your own life and on the planet. To flourish, according to this Western perspective, an individual must have all the “Core Elements” and three of the six “Additional Features” listed below:
Core Elements of Well-Being:
Positive emotion – Engagement – Meaning – Accomplishment – Positive relationships
Additional Features of Well-Being:
Self-esteem – Optimism – Resilience – Vitality – Self-determination – Positive relationships
Some of these qualities we are lucky enough to be born with and some we cultivate over the course of our lifetime. But however we receive them, it seems to me that if we “[bring] highly concentrated effort to some compelling activity for which [we have] a true calling”, the elements of flourishing will be present. And, vice versa.
What do you think?
How does this information effect how you think/feel about your midlife journey?
Does it draw you closer to or further into your current work or the changes you’d like to make in your work?
p.s. Brené Brown rocks. If you haven’t read her work on perfectionism, vulnerability, and rising strong, get on it.
p.p.s. I have a longer article on this topic at epicmag.org/embracing-intuition-midlife/
