5 Reasons You Are Blocking Your Success & Happiness

Posted on July 30, 2021 by Cynthia Pinga, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Back when we were all kids around 6 or 7 years old, we were always asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We were taught to dream big and use our imagination. You could have said you wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, an architect or even an astronaut without even really knowing much about the job description. Now, as we grow up, things would have started to change. Family members, other people or even the environment we were in could have possibly influenced our decisions. And by the time we have jobs, many people feel like “This isn’t really the kind of job I want to do”, “I thought life would be different after graduating with good grades”, “I’m not sure if this is what I was born for” or a simple “I’m not happy with my life.” Such dilemma are quite common in our society today and many are not living the “successful” and happy life they hoped for.

There are many reasons as to why people end up unhappy in life. Here are some of the common ones and what you can do about it.

1. You do not have goals
People do not succeed in life when they lack clarity and go in all directions instead of focusing on one thing at a time. Having goals and writing them down is one of the first steps to achieving success. Goals are not New Year’s resolutions where you say you want something and forget about it a month later or even a week later after the New Year. Goals are targets with action plans to achieve them.

2. You have no idea what success exactly is for you
Success means different things for everybody. Everybody defines success differently. For some, it may be being a millionaire, for others, it could be finally graduating from college at the age of 50. The media, most of the time, portrays success as fame or being at the top of the world and many people get influenced by that definition of success. Hence, they have no idea how to get there because it isn’t really what success is in their terms. So, take some time to define what exactly success is for you.

3. You have some limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are beliefs that could possibly sabotage your way to success and can cause unhappiness to you. For example, you may have a big goal or dream but you think that you just don’t deserve it. Most of the time, a belief isn’t something that you have thought on your own. It is usually something that you have picked up from somewhere (i.e the media, environment) or “passed down” to you by your parents, friends or even a stranger. One thing that you should always remember is, what is true for them does not necessarily be true for you. So, be very careful about your thoughts and beliefs that could be limiting you to greater heights.

4. You keep blaming and giving excuses
Instead of figuring out why things aren’t working or what you can do about a given situation, you give excuses towards why you can’t do it or blame other people for your failures. Do you find yourself doing this? Does blaming others make you feel happy afterwards? My guess is, probably not. Practice to reflect what you could have possibly done wrong on your side first before pointing fingers to others. Blaming and giving excuses will never make you successful simply because it doesn’t give you the opportunity to grow to become a better person.

5. Sometimes, you are just stuck halfway and do not know how to move forward
If that’s the case, get a buddy or an accountability partner. Tell the person what you’re working towards and when you plan to complete it. Ask your partner to check in with you to ensure you’re on track. Hiring a coach would also help. A coach can ask questions that can help you identify blind spots that you cannot see. If you look at history, successful people have a coach. Self-help books will tell you that, too. The best scenario is in the sports industry. Every athlete has a coach to help them move forward and succeed.

In a nutshell, success and happiness are always in your control. People can tell you to become a lawyer, engineer, whatsoever. But at the end of the day, no one else is going to live your life. You are. It is never too late to achieve the success and happiness you want. You can start to turn your life around at any point in your life.