It is OKAY to Ask for Help and Credentials Really Don't Matter
Posted on October 27, 2021 by Lee Vance, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
It takes courage to reach out and accept any type of help. Honor that courage by selecting help that cares about you.
1. It is OK to ask for Help.
I first heard someone say “it’s okay to ask for help” as a child. I don’t know if it was my father, a major proponent of mental health services, or it was one of my grade-school teachers. But it was a phrase I heard long before I understood its meaning or why it was being said. I’m grateful it was said.
I was in my mid-20’s the first time I sought any kind of professional help. I had had school counselors and short stints with therapists prior to this time but it was while I was at Seminary that I recognized that I was struggling and in emotional pain. My roommate recommended a psychologist and I saw her weekly for two years.
I have continued to utilize services of all kinds to keep myself mentally stable and happy. At times I have desperately needed individualized and confidential guidance and at others I have relied on groups to support me. In fact, I cannot recall a time when I was truly balanced and thriving and not supported by a cloud of witnesses; a group of loving, supporting people. We do not thrive in isolation.
2. How much do credentials matter?
When it comes to getting the right help, credentials don’t matter as much as we may think they do. I take one’s hard-earned degrees and credentials seriously and think they provide value in particular situations with clients. For instance, complex mental health needs (ex: complex trauma and Schizophrenia) necessitate a team of medical and mental health professionals. But, overall, the research aligns with my consistent experience: the relationship (therapeutic alliance) matters more than the type of intervention or the credentials of the provider. Whether you see a psychologist, social worker, trained meditation teacher, coach, peer-support person, or mental health advocate, there is little difference in outcome based on titles and credentials.
If you want to feel better, gain confidence, improve your life, heal, and feel deeply supported along the way, what matters most is your connection with your provider; it’s about fit. Does he understand me? Does she clearly see me for who I am? Are we harmonized? Can I trust them with information that I don’t want others to know? Just as there is not a perfect person, there isn’t a perfect match. A good match that supports your well-being will likely undergo some failures. These are times when there are failures in effective communication and misunderstandings. But a good connection with your therapist or coach means that these misunderstands can be repaired and will strengthen trust.
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Again, it is OK to ask for help! In fact, it’s the courageous and right thing to do. When it comes to selecting your helper, trust your gut. Exercise self-love. Select someone that remembers some important details of your life. Select someone that demonstrates that they care about you. If you don’t feel that connection or the healer is too burnt out to meet you fully, try someone else. Do not settle for less than help that cares.
