Are you walking a tightrope of guilt?
Posted on February 15, 2022 by Aryssa Amin, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
Some of us decide that we want to return to work. This could be due to financial constraints or family dynamics. On the other hand, some of us decide
We have our own identity. When we become parents, that identity evolves as we transition from being individuals to entering the world of parenting.
Some of us decide that we want to return to work. This could be due to financial constraints or family dynamics. On the other hand, some of us decide to stay at home due to child care costs or just because we find parenting to be our purpose.
What we fail to appreciate is that there’s also a percentage of parents who want to keep their own identity and want to continue working through choice because they feel fulfilled with their careers.
At the end of the day, whichever path we decide to walk down is a personal choice and therefore does not warrant a lifetime of guilt!
We are conditioned to believe that mums in particular should “stay at home” and raise a family. However, in the event that one chooses to resume work, the societal pressures are such that they make the individual feel like a failure!
The expectations enforced on working parents are so unrealistic and unhealthy that they push the parent down a rollercoaster of misery, stress, judgement, worry and endless guilt.
I know what this feels like having been there myself. I left my daughter with my parents when I returned to work because we were struggling financially. I recall crying daily before work because in some way, I thought I had failed her.
My daughter didn’t know any different. I was feeding myself my own poison.
Like many, I felt guilt because I wasn’t aligned with my true self. I held myself responsible for areas of my life which were beyond my control, for example, our financial situation.
It was only when I stopped beating myself up and accepted that life has and will throw curveballs, that I began to thrive at work and as a parent.
Guilt is about understanding your emotions and being kind to yourself.
It’s about talking to someone who is non judgemental about your worries and concerns.
It’s about accepting your choices and being at peace with them.
It’s about giving yourself time to feel comfortable with your arrangements.
As a professional coach, I work with parents and support them through emotions such as guilt.
If you would like to connect with me and find out how I can support you, please send me a message for more information.
