When our childhood wounds show up in the workplace

Posted on July 27, 2022 by Busisiwe Hlatswayo, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

We take who we are in every area of our lives. The notion of professionalism has a lot of merit but it has its limitations. It presupposes that we should wear a mask, leave some of who we are at home. That may be necessary but it doesn’t always work.

I believe that two things can be both true at the same time. Someone can be accountable for abusing you and you could also be attracting an opportunity to expose and deal with your childhood wounds that dance with that specific abuse.

The abuser is accountable, you do not deserve to be abused, you are a victim of their abuse. At the same time, the universe is providing you with an opportunity to deal with your demons. Otherwise abusers would continue abusing but do not have to mess with you or trigger you.

When looking back over my professional life over the last decade and half, the workplace has exposed and provided me an opportunity to heal a number of my childhood wounds that showed up as victimhood, fear of disapproval, people pleasing, naivety, fear of advocating for myself. I continue to do my own work.

The workplace would be an easy place, if all we dealt with was inanimate objects. Unfortunately and fortunately we are dealing with people, people who are both wounded and beautiful. People whose wounds dance with ours.

It’s only when we interrupt and change our inner patterns through healing our own wounds that we stop the dance. We can’t wait until they do theirs. They may never change.

When you change circumstances change, they either get removed, no longer trigger you or stop being directed to you.