Do not ignore a child showing meltdowns. Learn how to deal with it calmly.
Posted on July 28, 2022 by Elena Rethorn, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
It's an awkward situation for parents when a child cries in a public place uncontrollably. Here is how to deal with it calmly and confidently.
Understand how effectively you can deal with your emotionally tired child and how it can easily melt his defenses and bring you closer together.
Every parent has once in a lifetime encountered their child fighting for candy or toy in a public place. It is not just little tears, but sometimes they would scream their lungs out. And you will see an exhausted parent with little patience to deal with it any longer. How you deal with it is very important in your lifetime relationship with your children. Here is a simple and 100% proven technique from my 20 years of experience.
Step #1: Stay calm
It is a universal right to cry. So the very first lesson as a parent is to stay calm. You can only worsen the situation if you lose your cool or scream. Understand that your child needs your assistance when he/she is emotionally helpless.
Step #2: Go to the level of your child
Even if he is lying on the floor or screaming or shouting, keep calm, go to his level (eye level) and hold his hands. He feels that you are trying to help him.
Step #3: Listen
You show him that you are willing to understand his position and feelings. Now listen to him. He feels that you show respect by going to his level.
Step #4: Talk / Hugs and kisses
And when he stops crying, you acknowledge his emotions. Always say to him," I understand that you are upset. I can see that. I feel you." If possible, hug and kiss the child.
Talk to him that you understand why he is upset. For example, if he was crying for candy, try this, “I understand you need candy now, but today we can only purchase the bread and the milk, and tomorrow will come to the store to take your candy.” A child will always cooperate with you because he has been listened to, respected, and given a solution. This idea works even for a toddler who cannot speak.
Parents should consider every misbehavior as a child trying to communicate something to grown-ups. Understand that you are a role model to your children. Respect and acknowledge your child when they are emotionally incapable of holding them back and give solutions to their problems (c’mon mummy, it’s not just candy for them). Demonstrate how important they are to us and their feelings.
This is how we develop a mutual agreement of love and relationship within our family.
And the pro tip is – never ignore a child because you are demonstrating to them that in difficult situations, you are leaving them alone for them to stand on their own feet.
Do not hesitate to ask for help from a professional if your child is frequently getting upset emotionally and it is causing stress to you and your family. Dear parents, do not bear the stress silently, a family coach or a parental coach like me can always help you and your child.