Creating A Self-Compassionate Schedule
Posted on August 26, 2022 by Karen Gonzalez Rice, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
When you’re craving more space in your calendar, check in with yourself and try these compassionate strategies.
We want to show up fully for our families, co-workers, and communities, make progress on our goals, and some days, just keep our heads above water. And so our schedules become more and more packed with commitments, tasks, and obligations. The open spaces in our calendars seem to disappear, leaving us with no margins, no time to recover before moving on to the next thing.
Where do you crave margin in your schedule? Would you like to have space for a slow tea before work? A brisk walk at lunch? Or simply a moment to breathe between commitments? A compassionate schedule can have spaces (however brief) for:
—Calmly transitioning between activities or kinds of work
—Making intentional choices about how to approach your tasks and what to do next
—Enjoying a dance party, a cup of tea, or episode of Bridgerton
—Letting your ideas marinate and return to them refreshed
—Pausing for daydreaming or self-reflection
—Being fully present with yourself, loved ones, and friends
The next time you feel rushed or overcommitted, notice the overwhelmed feeling and how it shows up in your thoughts and in your body. Acknowledge the feeling by saying to yourself, “Yes, I feel overwhelmed in this moment.” Then recognize your limits: it is not humanly possible to do all the things. Here are some simple ways to start to create more spaciousness in your calendar:
—End or leave a meeting, class, or appointment a little early.
—Plan meetings for 20 minutes rather than 30, or 45 minutes instead of an hour.
—Rely on rotisserie chickens, the robot vacuum, and other shortcuts that work for you at home.
—Accept offers of help, or ask for help. Out-of-town relatives can have a Zoom playdate with your kids, or delegate a task to a colleague.
—If you struggle with saying no, try out the “No Sandwich:” make a statement with your “no” enclosed between two affirmations. For example, “Thank you for including me. I can’t take on new projects right now. Best of luck with this important work!”
Keeping a spacious schedule is a daily act of self-compassion, and self-compassion begins with honest attention to our needs. If you’re not used to connecting with your own desires, or if you regularly prioritize the needs of others, this can be a difficult exercise. Stick with it! Try on different ideas, check in with yourself, and see what resonates. As your awareness of what kind of schedule you want and need builds, try making small adjustments to your expectations, your commitments, and your calendar based on what you notice. A self-compassionate schedule evolves, so don’t be afraid to revise as your circumstances, needs, and energy change!
