The Danger Zone
Posted on November 02, 2022 by Faisal Aljahani, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
The danger zone is also known as the comfort zone. Is thought to be a healthy place to be in.
Below I show why the naming is misleading.
What is the comfort zone?
The area of still water, shallow water, where there is no life or movement. Its danger lies in the dominance of the human survival instinct over self-development and progress. Some people think that calling it the “comfort” zone means literal comfort, and I personally differed in this terminology since it is a temporary relief and it discourages development, and ends with the inhibition of intellectual growth!
I believe, calling it the danger zone is closer to reality.
Dr. Dan Segel devised the Window of Tolerance theory in which every event we encounter within that window is a familiar experience and we can appropriately deal with it intellectually, emotionally, and physiologically. Every event outside that window causes us a kind of stress because the experience is new and may result in a “reactive” reaction that exceeds the size of the event.
How do we widen the tolerance window?
A person is born with a very small window and as we delve into life experiences, that window expands. Either through direct or indirect experiences.
One of the most important ways to contribute to expanding the window is self-awareness!
Awareness of your own window. Why?
The human being has a threshold of tolerance, and if the limits of the window are widely exceeded, the experience will result, as we mentioned, a “reactive response”, and this response will often exceed the experience, and therefore the results will be undesirable. The further away we are from the boundaries of the window, the greater the reaction. You can imagine when we are put in a situation far from the limits of our windows, what will happen? We all have been there at least once in our lives!
Our reaction will be discordant and exaggerated, and we will not be able to benefit from the experience, and we may even acquire a wrong model from the experience and not want to go through it again in the future.
What role does awareness of our tolerance window play?
Our awareness of the limits of our windows, allows us to gradually exceed our limits and dive into the experience smoothly without collision, as collisions generate traumas, and it is trauma that robs our ability to control our reactions. As we move forward within the experience it is recognized and programmed into our minds as a risk-free experience and thus is included within our tolerance window.
And we all know that the occurrence of situations and events around us is not limited to our decisions only, but life and people have a great role in contributing to the reality of these matters. Thus, we both agree that we do not have control over the course of life.
Where is the challenge?
We, humans, are not designed to succeed or live happily, but rather to survive, so our instinct tends to stay within the comfort zone, because it is free from risks or threats, and even if we are aware that it has great and accumulated damage, the mind sets its priorities according to the potential outcome. If we suppose that we strongly desire success and desire to create happiness for ourselves, the subconscious mind self-analyses without our awareness “What is the use of success and happiness if we perish?” That’s why our minds communicate with us by sending constant signals when we pack up for a new experience we call “Stress and Anxiety.”
What do we gain from that?
Staying in the “comfort zone” interferes with the process of expanding the window of tolerance, which is based on trying new experiences and exposing ourselves to different life challenges.
Faisal A. Aljahani,
