Get In Touch With What You Really Want and Why

Posted on May 01, 2023 by Stephen Bassett, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

What do you truly desire, and why?
How do we get in touch with what we really want and why we want it? Here is where shit gets real! Doing the deep work necessary for real life-changing growth may be uncomfortable, so buckle up buttercup. Put on your big girl/boy pants. It’s time to dive in!

This is where we peel back the layers and find out what you really want and why. And I am not
talking about what you SAY you want. I’m Talking about the REAL thing. And I am not talking
about why you say you want it. I’m talking about the REAL why! The why beneath the why.
Read that again because it’s mildly important. Dig deep and step into that space of vulnerability
and take stock of your big motivating factors (your big MOFO).

amazing, attractive person, fall in love, and have a solid partner in my life.” But what if I said,
“Ok, what if I could snap my fingers like a genie and have that come true for you, but the
condition is that in this relationship you will never feel supported, understood, fulfilled or
nourished in any way. In fact, you will feel empty, diminished, and fucking miserable for the rest
of your life.” Would you still want it? You would hopefully say, “Hell no!” Because what you
really want is to have deep companionship, unconditional love, fulfillment, and a partner that is
by your side no matter what.

And,we could go deeper still, peeling back layers until we get to the real thing you desire in your
life. This can be applied to health, success, and so on. There is the common, “I want to lose 15
pounds” sequence. After some deep coaching we go from “I want to lose weight” to “I want to
look better in my cloths” to “I want to feel better about my body” to “I feel like the spark is
gone in my relationship and I want to reconnect with my partner”. Ah, now we are getting
somewhere!

What about, “I want a new Ferrari!” Do you? Is it the car you desire? After all, the car is only metal, glass, leather, and plastic. Or is it the way the car makes you feel? To feel seen, to feel validated, to feel alive, to feel successful, to feel admired? Maybe we can achieve those things for you in your life without dropping 400k? I’m not saying wanting a Ferrari is wrong. Hell, I want a Ferrari! I am talking about getting in touch with the “whys” behind the desire and do the work to make sure there is acceptance and acknowledgement there before you take the plunge into the thing (or person) you think you want.

How will you know when you have it? What particular thing will change in your life? Then go
deeper still. Peel that protective layer back and expose the thing you may not have been aware
of or didn’t want to face. This process of deep introspection is uncomfortable because the
emotional honesty and sense of self required to get there, to that core thing inside us
screaming to be nourished, pushes past our edges of where we are comfortable and safe. But
what has kept you comfortable and safe is the very thing that has kept you stuck. Get in touch
with and embrace these deeper layers of your REAL “whats” and “whys” and watch your sense
of passion and purpose take a more profound role in your life.
Now get to work dammit!