Grief at Work - Normalizing the Conversation

Posted on April 24, 2024 by Liz Alley, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

In today’s fast-paced work environment, the profound impact on employees through grief is often overlooked. Most people are fearful or uncomfortable talking about it at work, for a variety of personal and professional reasons. But we must begin to normalize discussing these events, as they impact us. Grief isn’t always due to the loss of a loved one. Grief may include a long-term relationship breakup or divorce, transitions in friendships, loss of community due to relocation, family illness, or a challenging personal diagnosis.

As an HR Leader, transition and grief coach, I’ve witnessed the reluctance to discuss grief at work. The more genuine interaction takes place around grief and having authentic support from leaders and colleagues, employees will be put at ease.

For Grievers:

• You may struggle with concentration, focus, and capacity, and you could experience a variety of emotions such as fear, anger, fatigue, frustration, and sadness. Grief can also feel isolating. Allow yourself the space to process and the permission to communicate your needs to those around you.

• Feelings of discomfort from others are common. You may sense people subconsciously avoiding interaction with you. It’s not anything you’ve done. They most likely don’t know what to say or how to approach you during this huge life adjustment. Some may even be apprehensive that they will say the “wrong” thing or upset you. Put others at ease and communicate when YOU feel ready to do so. There is no “rush” or time restriction to this process. It’s a very individual journey.

• Accepting changes in your behavior and thoughts after a loss can be challenging. You may place value on different areas of life than you did before. You also have a deep realization that things can change in an instant. You will develop a “new normal” over time, with a higher level of awareness. Often you just want to feel better and yet don’t feel equipped to push yourself forward. This is all completely understandable. Seeking support from a medical provider can be empowering, and provides viable tools, such as group therapy, one-on-one coaching, spending time in nature, and exercise.

For Colleagues and Leaders:

• Grieving employees may experience a range of side effects. This includes a variety of emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and even numbness, all of which can affect their ability to focus and perform their duties effectively. They temporarily may not be at their typical productivity level. It may also be difficult for them to accept this about themselves. They could develop or experience intense feelings of guilt or self-criticism. Creating a safe space for them is crucial.

• Encourage open communication amongst your teams. Especially in the weeks following the event, grieving employees may feel awkward or could feel pressured to “keep it together” during the workday. The reality is, that this may not always be possible. They need your help to feel acceptance at one of the most uncomfortable times in their lives. Your support, compassion, and patience will go a long way.

• Show them that it’s OK to prioritize their mental and emotional well-being and lead by example. They may be looking for you to set the tone, as they may feel overwhelmed. Make sure they are aware of the resources available to them, such as employee assistance programs, a short-term mental health leave (when grief is severe or debilitating), and/or group therapy. Consider bringing in a one-on-one coach as a dedicated guide as well.

We all play a crucial role in helping employees navigate grief in the workplace. Showing grace and understanding speaks volumes about your values as professionals and leaders, while promoting overall employee health and well-being.

Liz Alley, CPC, ELI-MP, PHR
Helping People Navigate Life’s Transitional Moments