How to improve your personality

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Martin Hahn, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Usually the advice given in many written texts and repeated over and over again by numerous communication gurus can be summarized in the following points:

1. Concentrate on one thing at a time. Many people who plans to improve their personality feel that they need to boost their confidence. Confidence is the most important building block of success in almost all human activities. However, personality is a complex mixture of habits, physical, mental and emotional. The challenge of improving personality will require it to be broken down into certain specific habits which require development. Improvement is a slow process. Each obstacle has to be tackled separately. In the end, cultivating confidence will boost
self-improvement of other personality traits.

2. Understand how you came to be what you are. Try to analyze your own motives. Many of our troubles are caused by our childhood experiences and looking back at them will help us discover the causes. Do not be afraid to look at these original memories. Use your mature adult brain to reevaluate them. The technique you need to apply is going over each experience in your mind repetitively. Slowly and consistently try to work off the emotions connected with them. Only stop when you can think about those experiences without becoming upset again.

3. Imagine yourself becoming what you want be. Many people think that lack of confidence can be resolved through an effort of will. The best way is actually a combination of will-power and the power of imagination. Imagination and will together are more effective together than separately. Try to picture yourself in your mind as the person you would like to be. Imagine a mental picture of yourself and then imagine yourself as a changed person. You can then use your will-power to
make the mental picture a reality.

4. Suggest to yourself that you can be what you imagine. Stand in front of the mirror and repeatedly tell yourself that you can become what you want to be. Suggest to yourself that you will no longer be afraid of the memories of your past. Continuously confirm to yourself, quietly but forcefully, whatever change you desire. In other words, you can replace fear with confidence. All of this with the help of autosuggestion.

5. Act the part you want to play in life. Putting people at ease is actually a simple endeavor. Just show interest in them as you expect them to be interested in you. Show real and not a fake interest in other people and prove it by talking about the things that interest them. Do not be jealous of the good fortune of others. Show appreciation of others. Speak well of people. Avoid making them feel substandard. Eliminate disapproval and unfavorable criticism. Make a habit to show a friendly smile. Nurture
a sense of humor. Listen with sympathy and interest to what others have to say.

This list is not exhaustive because in the end it boils down to our ability to improve our own lives. Communication is of course an important skill in our attempts to improve our lives.

In communication, we need to constantly seek ways to improve our interpersonal communication skills. The way we convey our messages to others must be refined all the time. A very important element in acquiring good communication skills is self-confidence.

You need to ask many questions to yourself: do you remain cool in emergencies? Do you avoid blaming others when things go wrong? Can you always be depended upon to do what you say you will do? Do you go out of your way cheerfully to help others? Do you have reasonable faith in humanity? Do you show an interest in the interests of others? Do you take
an active part in any organizations in which you belong?

Another element which is related to the above issue is our ability to imagine ourselves becoming what we want to be. The power of visualization or imagination is extremely important if you want to change yourself or at least become a better communicator. The combination of will and imagination is very strong and will help you change in a positive
way. If you want to change yourself, but your imagination dwells on thoughts of failure, then you will fail. This is called the law of reversed effort.

Finally, you need to be able to talk yourself into change. This technique is called affirmation. You should constantly repeat to yourself what you want to change. If you want to become a better communicator, you should repeatedly say to yourself: I am a good communicator!
Avoid saying: I will become a good communicator because you might fail. You must picture yourself as already a person who is a superb communicator!