A 7-Step Guide to Thrive Amidst Toxic People and Beyond

Posted on August 01, 2024 by David Luscher, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

In my previous article “Surviving the Toxic Manager”, I outlined the “Toxic Managers Playbook”. 15 toxic techniques used by bad managers that we should all be aware of. The impact of this behavior can contribute to high turnover rates, disengagement, and decreased productivity. Not to mention the negative consequences on our health and relationships.

While toxic behavior certainly happens outside of the workplace as well, it’s important to have a process in place to deal with it regardless of where it’s experienced. The process I recommend comes from the work of noted neurologist, psychologist, and philosopher, Viktor Frankl.

In 1946, Mr. Frankl published the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” which chronicles his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. From those experiences came his concept of man’s inherent right to choose amidst extreme suffering and adversity. He emphasizes that regardless of external circumstances, individuals possess the freedom to choose their attitudes and responses to life’s challenges.

Frankl also proposes that how one responds to suffering determines their inner strength and resilience. By choosing constructive attitudes and actions, individuals can transcend suffering and find a deeper sense of fulfillment.

While the scope of this article can’t do justice to the book, the following 7 steps are some key takeaways that I believe are immediately applicable.

1. Identify Your Purpose

The core principle is that life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones. Reflect on your life’s purpose and how maintaining your mental health is aligned with it. This intrinsic purpose can provide the strength needed to navigate toxic interactions.

2. Detach and Observe

When dealing with toxic individuals, practice detachment. View the situation as an observer rather than a participant. This can help minimize emotional reactions and keep you grounded.

3. Purposeful Response

Frankl encourages purposeful action. Before responding to a toxic person, pause and think about your response’s alignment with your values and purpose. This mindful practice can prevent impulsive reactions that could escalate the situation.

4. Self-Transcendence

Frankl suggests that self-transcendence, or focusing beyond oneself, can bring a deeper sense of meaning. Engage in activities that are larger than the toxic relationship, such as helping others, pursuing a hobby, or contributing to a cause. This can redirect your energy and attention towards something positive.

5. Find Meaning in Suffering

Meaning can be found even in suffering. Reflect on what the toxic relationship is teaching you. Whether it’s resilience, patience, or deeper self-awareness, identifying meaning can transform your perspective on the situation.

6. Setting Boundaries

Use the clarity derived from your purpose to set healthy boundaries. Decide what behaviors you will not tolerate and communicate these boundaries clearly and firmly. Protecting your well-being is crucial to maintaining a meaningful life.

7. Seek Support

Finally, recognize when you need support. Consulting a therapist or joining a support group can provide additional strategies and emotional assistance. Frankl’s journey underscores the importance of community and support in overcoming adversity.

Ultimately, it’s our responsibility to take action and do what’s best for us and those we love. These 7 steps provide a syntax for us to follow. If you would like more information or help putting this into practice, contact me. My coaching can help you achieve clarity, resilience, and a more meaningful life in the face of challenging relationships.

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