Show Up - Pay Attention - Let Them Know You're All In
Posted on September 03, 2024 by Marie de Martinez, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Regardless of your relationship; boss, wife, friend, volunteer - showing up demonstrates that you are committed and invested.
Literally, showing up IS commitment. Whether it be through a telephone call, or attending an event that is important to that person, the demonstration that you care enough to spend your time on something that is important to them is a gift. When you think about it, time is the only real gift we have to impart to anyone, at any time.
The next gift you have to give, to your employer, your employee, to your kids, lover, friends – what have you – is your attention. Put the phone down. Look people in the eye, provide evidence that you are in the moment with them and that they have your attention – you’re not just putting in time. Ask questions, say their name, remember the conversation and refer to it again in subsequent conversations. This lets people know that you are INVESTED in the relationship. When a person believes your investment, they become more trusting, and invested themselves. The relationship becomes stronger and more trusting with every interaction.
That is not to say that are no disagreements. Disagreements and friction are as much a part of relationships as agreement. The test comes in how you both handle disagreements. A respectful conflict discussion is as valuable as agreement and praise. It’s called ‘adulting’ and is sometimes very difficult to accomplish. If you work to clearly express your thoughts, practice some of what you want to say before your have the discussion (assuming you have time), avoid personalizing accusations and inflamatory remarks, difficult conversations will become easier and less threatening. You can do it if you try. I can help you find the time, the attitude and the words!
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