Feeling Stuck?
Posted on November 05, 2024 by Lynda Mettler, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Limiting beliefs can hold you back from growing, but Internal Family Systems coaching can help change how you see yourself and boost self-confidence.
One timeless idea suggests, “In matters of principle, stand like a rock. In matters of opinion, flow with the current.” This wisdom encourages flexibility and curiosity in our views, but as straightforward as it sounds, practicing this adaptability is often harder than expected.
Take, for example, the story of rapper B.o.B., who in 2016 championed the flat-earth theory—a belief dismissed by science centuries ago. Despite extensive evidence, including photos from space and direct appeals from scientists like Neil deGrasse Tyson, he clung to his conviction, even launching a fundraising campaign to prove his stance. This behavior illustrates a universal truth: “The fastest way to make an enemy is to tell someone they are wrong.” Humans are quick to protect their beliefs, often driven by the need to avoid looking bad or feeling vulnerable.
In personal growth and coaching, this resistance to changing beliefs is a common theme. Often, deeply held views about ourselves and the world begin forming in childhood, solidifying into self- and world-views that are challenging to shift, even when evidence suggests otherwise.
Consider the example of a client, Rick, whose self-view remained unchanged despite significant achievements. Years ago, Rick rescued a child from a fire. Praise poured in, but even after such an act of bravery, he saw himself as unworthy—a perspective rooted in a critical self-belief formed in his early years. No matter his actions, he felt stuck with an internal voice of self-doubt, limiting his self-worth.
This is where parts work, a component of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach, offers a path to meaningful change. IFS views our inner landscape as made up of “parts”—thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that shape our self-perception. Often, we become stuck in rigid self-views, like feeling unworthy or inadequate, because certain parts of us carry the burdens of past experiences and limiting beliefs. For Rick, the voice of self-criticism was one such part that kept him from embracing his worthiness.
Through IFS, clients engage in “unblending” from these parts to reconnect with their core “Self”—a grounded, compassionate aspect of who they are. From this Self-led perspective, individuals can observe their parts with curiosity and begin transforming limiting self-perceptions. As each part is acknowledged and its burdens released, a shift occurs, opening up space for greater self-compassion, confidence, and resilience.
For those feeling constrained by old beliefs or stuck in self-defeating patterns, life coaching informed by Internal Family Systems can be a powerful catalyst. By exploring these inner dynamics, individuals can gain the clarity and empowerment needed to shape a more fulfilling, confident life.
