You’re Not ‘Bad at Adulting’—The System Wasn’t Built for You
Posted on February 19, 2025 by Coach Jen Bee, CALC, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.
Stop blaming yourself for struggling with "adulting." The system wasn’t built for ADHD brains—ditch the guilt & build a life that actually fits.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing at life—missing deadlines, forgetting appointments, struggling with the simplest tasks while crushing complex challenges—you’re not alone. And guess what? It’s not because you’re lazy, undisciplined, or “bad at adulting.” It’s because the world wasn’t built for the way your brain works.
The Productivity Myth That’s Gaslighting You
Most of what we call “being an adult” is just following neurotypical playbooks. Get up early, grind through a 9-to-5, maintain a spotless home, answer emails within 30 seconds, and definitely don’t forget anyone’s birthday.
But here’s the truth: those systems were never designed with ADHD, neurodivergent, or nonlinear thinkers in mind.
They rely on rigid structures, predictable energy levels, and an ability to prioritize the “boring but important” with ease. That’s not how ADHD works. And yet, instead of recognizing the mismatch, society tells you that you are the problem.
Ditch the Guilt. The System is the Problem, Not You.
When you try to fit into a system that wasn’t built for you, it feels like trying to jam a square peg into a round hole. You can either:
Keep trying harder—burning yourself out while feeling like a failure.
Build something that actually works for you—instead of fighting against your brain, you work with it.
Here’s How to Build a Work & Life System That Fits You:
→ Stop measuring yourself by neurotypical standards. You don’t need to be a morning person, use a planner, or follow the latest productivity hack.
→ Design your workday around your energy, not the clock. If you do your best work at 10 p.m., stop forcing yourself into a 9-to-5 structure.
→ Set up systems that actually match your brain. Time blindness? Use visual timers. Forget everything? Build external reminders. Hate email? Automate what you can.
→ Delegate or eliminate tasks that drain you. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.
→ Redefine success on your terms. Productivity isn’t about cranking out more work—it’s about getting the right work done in a way that doesn’t kill your soul.
You’re Not Broken—The Rules Just Suck.
The world wasn’t built for ADHD brains. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep suffering inside its broken systems. The moment you stop trying to be “better at adulting” and start building a life that works for you—that’s when everything shifts.
And honestly? That’s when you become unstoppable.
