Uncovering What’s Beneath the Surface

Posted on March 05, 2025 by Lauren Bunton, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

It’s a modern day predicament. You open your streaming app and look forward to leaving your day at the door, as you cross the threshold into someone else’s story” But as you scroll through endless rows of glossy thumbnails, a new fatigue creeps in: what should I watch?

The first options seem straightforward enough—Trending Now. Top Picks For You. Recommendations designed to grab your attention. They’re polished and presented in a way that makes them feel like the right choice; as though they’re exactly what you need. A few seconds of the trailer reveal they are close, but not quite right. You keep on scrolling, following that feeling that the perfect show is out there, buried beneath this generic first wave—hidden in layers you can’t quite reach.

It’s not just a feeling. Research into online purchase platforms reveals the same dynamic: the best finds—the most unique, high-quality, or thoughtfully reviewed items—are often buried several pages deep. The initial results prioritize what’s promoted or optimized for clicks, not necessarily what’s best. True discoveries require curiosity and the patience to dig beyond the surface.

This idea of going beneath the surface isn’t just about entertainment or shopping. It’s a reflection of how we connect with ourselves and others. Instead of pausing to explore, we leap at surface-level solutions and expect to feel satisfied. But we all know the lingering feeling when the emotional equivalent of a top pick doesn’t quite deliver—when what’s underneath is still calling out for our attention.

In his writing, Michael Bungay Stanier addresses this by challenging us to recognize the “advice monster” within—the part of us that wants to fix, solve, or provide quick answers before we truly understand the situation. By pausing and asking:—what’s really going on here?–we open the door to deeper insights. The answers that matter most rarely come from the first offering—they come from staying engaged long enough to uncover what’s hidden.

This approach isn’t just about delaying action; it’s about creating the conditions for discovery by digging into the layers beneath the initial, surface-level information. Because the truth is, big, shiny first-pass feelings are experts at convincing us they’re what we need. But if we only tend to those surface-level options, the deeper longing—the sense that something important is still unresolved—will not quiet. As Stanier reminds us, staying curious a little longer and resisting the urge to jump to action can lead us somewhere deeper. Whether you’re asking a friend, “Tell me more,” or pausing to reflect inwardly, this kind of curiosity creates the conditions for insight. And yes, it even applies to those simple moments, like scrolling for a show to watch or deciding what to choose in a crowded world of options. The most satisfying discoveries, whether in entertainment or relationships, come from the willingness to dig a little deeper, to stay curious, and to resist the quick and easy solution.

Sometimes the top-rated film really is just that—the perfect choice for the moment. Sometimes the first answer a close friend gives truly reflects how they’re feeling. But sometimes, what’s closest to the surface isn’t the full story. It’s a starting point, an invitation to look closer, ask better questions, and explore what’s underneath.

So next time you’re faced with endless rows of “Top Picks” or “Most Popular”—pause. Be curious. Dig deeper. What you’re truly looking for is often waiting just beneath the shallows.