Who were you? Who are you?
Posted on March 05, 2025 by Melinda Sánchez, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
We evolve beyond childhood experiences that shape us, offering growth and new perspectives. Reflect on past challenges to see how you've changed.
Imagine you run into a school friend walking down the street. You haven’t seen each other in ages, and you’re thrilled to say hello. “Wow, you haven’t changed a bit!” they say. You share a quick summary of work, family, and little else, then part ways smiling. Two questions cross your mind: “Haven’t I changed? Am I the same person I was years ago?”
Before reflecting, let’s go through some information to better understand our changes and evolution through life:
From birth to about 2 years old, our brain activity functions similarly to when we’re asleep.
From ages 2 to 6, we enter a state of creative imagination.
From ages 6 to 12, we operate between the subconscious and the conscious state.
Starting at age 12, we begin to develop active consciousness and rational thinking.
This information is important to understand that from 0 to 6 years old, we are in what is known as “programmable states.” At this age, we record absolutely everything happening around us, like pressing the record button on a device. Everything that occurs in our environment is stored in our subconscious: family behaviors, emotions, ideologies, beliefs, school situations, how we’re treated… Until one day, the recorder stops, and all that stored information becomes part of you.
As we progress into adolescence, we begin to notice that much of what was recorded doesn’t make sense or starts to look different. This period is often called the rebellious age because it’s when we start realizing that much of what’s “recorded” in our minds doesn’t align with how we experience life. This is when we begin to build our true selves through new experiences and our chosen responses to certain situations.
After adolescence, as we transition into adulthood, we encounter two types of people: those who follow the programs and beliefs of their “recorder” and those who work on personal growth and decide to become who they want to be. The recorded programs aren’t necessarily bad, but they weren’t chosen by us.
An example: Ana, at 15, was very shy and struggled to fit into her friend group. She wasn’t very talkative, and the more outgoing girls in her group pressured her to behave like them. Ana’s family was quite conservative, and doing “certain things” was considered wrong. In her mind, doing something wrong was like breaking a major barrier with everything she had experienced up until 15.
Now, as an adult, Ana realizes that while she still finds it challenging to integrate into certain social groups, especially at work, the 30-year-old Ana is not the same as the 15-year-old Ana. She now has different tools and experiences to face her personal fears.
I invite you to reflect on the following:
Think of a difficult experience during your adolescence.
How did you handle the situation back then?
How would you face it now?
What have you learned?
What tools do you have as an adult to overcome challenges?
As children, we have little experience and few tools to handle certain situations. But as we experience life, those experiences give us the opportunity to evolve and learn new ways to address challenges.
What experiences in your life have helped you grow? How have they changed the way you think and act? What have you learned? What do you do differently now compared to the past?
Taking the time to reflect on what we’ve learned from difficult experiences can help us tackle new situations that arise in life. The key is to understand that we are in a constant state of learning and that if we’re gathering experiences, it’s because we’re lucky enough to still be living and growing. Remember: you are not what others have told you to be—you can be whoever you want to be.
