Readiness for change

Posted on May 11, 2025 by Aryne Sheppard, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

What if there’s nothing to fix? Instead of buying into the self-improvement paradigm, what if you could meet your self directly and let your life unfold?

When you struggle in your life, the beliefs you carry about your challenge impact your ability to change. A common misconception is that you must get rid of your problems before you can feel better about yourself.

1. Denial
You don’t admit we have a problem, despite the consequences. You blame someone else or your circumstances. You tell yourself you know what you’re doing. You believe everything would be fine if your family would stop nagging or if your coworkers would leave you alone.

2. Resignation
You know something is wrong but you feel helpless to change it. Your problem feels overwhelming and you feel like a victim. You say, “Life isn’t fair” and believe there’s no point in trying to change things.

3. Battle
You go to battle with yourself. You can maintain control for a time, but your willpower always runs out. You feel frustrated and tell yourself, “You should be able to deal with this.” You are always on guard and believe that you’ll always have this struggle.

4. Apparent recovery
You are leading a normal life but harbor feelings of uneasiness and doubt. You have a lot of rules and plans in place to keep yourself on track. You tell yourself things like, “I’m OK if I stay busy” or “I’m OK as long as I’m not alone.”

5. Transformative change
You are able to see the learning potential in life challenges. You recognize that your problems are there to tell you something important. You realize you don’t need to be a victim of your circumstances and can take responsibility for your life.

Your perspective can help (or harm) your ability to sustain meaningful change. Valuing your self is a prerequisite for change.