Salary Negotiation: More Than Just Numbers—It’s a Self-Worth Game

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Nicolette Nierras, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

This week, we uncovered one of the biggest truths about career success: negotiation isn’t just about strategy—it’s about self-worth.

Too many professionals hesitate to negotiate their salaries because of fear, doubt, and societal conditioning. But if you don’t advocate for your worth, who will?

Let’s take a look at what we explored this week and how you can start negotiating from a place of power and confidence.

A) Research Findings on Salary Negotiation, Gender Disparities, and Self-Worth

Early in the week, we discussed the factors affecting salary negotiation for both genders i.e.

Gender Pay Gap: Women earn about 83 cents for every dollar men earn (Pew Research, 2023). This wage disparity affects how individuals perceive their worth and negotiate salaries.

Confidence Gap: Research shows that men are more likely to negotiate their salaries, while women tend to accept the first offer (Harvard Business Review, 2022).

Cultural Conditioning: Women are often socialized to be more agreeable and cooperative, making it harder for them to assert themselves in salary negotiations (Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In).

Implicit Bias & Workplace Perceptions: Employers often view men who negotiate as assertive leaders, while women who negotiate may be labeled as aggressive or difficult (Carnegie Mellon Study, 2022).

Access to Networks & Mentorship: Men have broader access to higher-level professional networks that provide guidance on salary benchmarks, while women often lack strong salary negotiation mentorship.

B) Then we also touched on the topic of How Self-Worth Impacts Salary Negotiation:

Self-Sabotage & Fear of Asking for More: Many women underestimate their value due to low self-worth, leading them to request lower salaries (American Psychological Association, 2023).

Perceived ‘Deservingness’: A study by McKinsey (2023) found that women often feel they need to “prove themselves” more than men before asking for a raise.

Energy & Vibrational Frequency: Low self-worth is linked to lower vibrational energy, which in turn affects confidence, assertiveness, and the ability to advocate for higher salaries (Joe Dispenza, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself).

Money Mindset & Limiting Beliefs: Many women associate earning high salaries with greed or selfishness, stemming from childhood conditioning.

C) This then lead to the Societal Pressures Affecting Women’s Salary Negotiation

‘Likeability’ Factor: Women fear that negotiating will make them seem less likable. Studies show that women who negotiate for higher pay are more likely to face social backlash (Harvard Business School, 2022).

Traditional Gender Roles: The belief that men are providers still influences the subconscious biases in salary discussions.

Workplace Motherhood Penalty: Women with children earn about 10-15% less than childless women, while fathers tend to earn more than childless men (National Bureau of Economic Research, 2023).

Lack of Transparency: Many companies still discourage salary discussions, making it harder for women to understand what they should be earning.

We went on to dissect Industry-Specific Salary Negotiation Trends and Gender Disparities.

D) The Psychology of Negotiation: Why It Feels So Hard

In the second discussion, we uncovered the biggest hidden roadblocks that keep professionals from asking for what they deserve:

1. Fear of rejection and confrontation
2. Feeling “lucky” just to have a job
3. The “Gratitude Trap”—not wanting to seem ungrateful
4. Not knowing their market worth

These aren’t just negotiation challenges. These are self-worth challenges.

E) BATNA: Why Having a Backup Plan Changes the Game

In our latest podcast reel, we explored one of the most powerful negotiation strategies: BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).

Key Takeaways:

1. Your ability to negotiate depends on having a strong Option B
2. If your alternative (another job offer, freelance opportunities, or current role) is stronger, you can walk away
3. Employers respect confidence—when you know your worth, you negotiate from power, not fear
If you missed the episode, you can catch the highlights here. Watch the full reel on Youtube.

F) Handling Pushback & Employer Tactics

Common Employer Responses & How to Counter Them

Example: We don’t have the budget for that.
Response: I understand. What flexibility do you have in performance-based raises or bonuses?

Example: The salary is non-negotiable.
Response: I appreciate that. Can we discuss additional benefits or growth opportunities instead?

Example: Your experience level is not quite there yet.
Response: I understand. However, I have delivered [specific results], and my market value aligns with [target salary].

→ Energetic Alignment Tip: Maintain calm, grounded energy. The way you hold yourself affects how others perceive your value.

G) Post-Negotiation: The Follow-Up & Reaffirming Self-Worth

Final Steps

Always Ask for the Offer in Writing – Ensures clarity and avoids miscommunication.
Don’t Rush to Accept – Take time to review the offer and negotiate any final details.
Future Pay Review Date – If you don’t get the raise you wanted, lock in a 6-month performance review to revisit it.

→ Energetic Alignment Tip: Write down your new salary as if you’ve already received it. Manifesting self-worth helps reinforce the belief that abundance is your natural state.

H) How My Coaching Framework Helps Professionals Negotiate with Confidence
Negotiation isn’t just about saying the right words – it’s about believing in your value. That’s why my Worthy, Authentic & Abundant Framework is designed to help professionals break through the limiting beliefs that keep them from negotiating with confidence.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Identify and clear limiting beliefs around money & self-worth
Step 2: Build a personalized salary negotiation strategy
Step 3: Learn powerful negotiation scripts for confidence
Step 4: Align your energy & mindset to attract better opportunities

Real Client Win: “After working together, [my client] finally stopped second-guessing, rewired their self-worth, and used these steps to negotiate a 30% raise. Now, they actually feel like they deserve it.”

I) Final Thoughts: Your Salary Reflects Your Self-Worth

If you walk away with one lesson from this week, let it be this: You don’t get what you deserve—you get what you have the confidence to ask for.

Your next salary negotiation is an opportunity to break the cycle of doubt, advocate for your value, and step into abundance.

If you’re ready to elevate your negotiation skills, rewire your money mindset, and step into your worth, let’s talk. My coaching, digital products, and intuitive readings are designed to help you shift from self-doubt to self-advocacy.