How to Be a Dragon Warrior: Never Swipe Under the Rug
Posted on September 24, 2025 by Roy Shapira, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Strong couples don’t avoid conflict—they fight the problem, not each other. Kill the dragons early, before resentment burns love away.
Embracing the Inevitable Differences
Every relationship has ups and downs. That’s normal. We are different people with different personalities.
If partners were identical, it would be boring—or even disastrous. Imagine two highly competitive, opinionated individuals: every small decision becomes a battle.
Differences aren’t the problem. The real question is how we handle these problems.
The Skill Every Couple Needs: How to Fight
Almost all arguments boil down to control. A situation arises, and each partner has a different view on what to do.
- Bad couples try to control each other. Phrases like “That’s ridiculous, I don’t want to hear it,” or “I’m tired of your excuses” are not about solving problems—they’re about dismissing the other person. Whoever “wins” the argument actually loses, because resentment builds. Over time, that resentment poisons love. Think of the bitter jokes couples sometimes use: “ball and chain” or “better half.” Jokes, yes, but rooted in truth.
- Good couples control the situation, not each other. They ask, “What do you think we should do?” or “I see it this way—what’s your perspective?” or even “Should we ask for help?” This approach makes partners teammates, not opponents. And strong teams endure tough times.
Never Swipe It Under the Rug
When exhausted, many say, “Not worth the fight.” But avoidance is dangerous.
Every ignored issue is like a baby dragon—just one centimeter tall. Small, but hungry.
Each time the same problem arises and gets swept under the rug, that dragon grows. Eventually, it becomes the big Resentment Dragon—filling the home with its poison. At that stage, even “pass the salt” can spark an explosion. And to slay such a beast often takes outside intervention: counseling, therapy, even divorce court.
But when the dragon is small? A sincere “I’m sorry,” a hug, or an honest five-minute talk can kill it instantly. Most conflicts are solved easily when tackled early, together.
The Dragon Warrior Practice: Weekly Check-Ins
One of the best habits is a weekly “relationship check-in.”
- Schedule an hour—weekends or evenings, when you’re both rested.
- Choose a calm setting—a restaurant, a quiet walk.
- Open up honestly—say what’s on your mind.
- Listen fully—don’t interrupt. After your partner finishes, summarize their words in your own way to confirm you understood.
- Solve as a team—most conflicts are misunderstandings, different cultural perspectives, or simply not paying attention.
This practice ensures dragons never get a chance to grow.
Building, Not Finding, the Best Relationship
The best relationship isn’t stumbled upon—it’s built. Built with conscious effort, patience, and persistence. Yes, it takes work. But it’s worth it. Love is the greatest reward in life, which is why more than half of all movies, songs, and stories are about it.
Cherish each other. Face the dragons together. And never, ever swipe anything under the rug.
Become a Dragon Warrior!
