How you can deepen your relationship wih you partner
Posted on April 14, 2010 by Peter Hueholt, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
it is an magnifecent and short article about how you have the power to start to make your relationship deeper and better.
How You can deepen your relationship with your partner
Yes you can. First, I invite you to rethink the idea that you are 50% responsible and your partner 50% responsible for having a happy and deep relationship. What, if you take 100% responsibility? Yes 100%!!!!! All blame just went out the window. If you think it takes two to dance you may wait a long time for rock n roll. You have the power to make your relationship a magnificent one. Now that you consider yourself 100% responsible for what goes well and what doesn’t, be patient and gentle with yourself. You are complete and perfect as you are; everything from your partner is just a bonus.
Second, make a commitment to yourself to deepen your relationship with your partner. Then do a creative visualization of what deepening of the relationship would look like to you. Envision it in “front” of you and pay attention to what it feels like.
A good third step is to have more of your needs met from somebody else, e.g., a friend, a brother or sister. Like taking walks or giving or receiving massages (healthy touch). Also take care of yourself. One of my favorite ways is to make a special dinner with candle light just for myself. So now when you are with your partner, a lot of your needs are already met and you can totally enjoy each other.
Fourth, be accountable for your actions. An "I’m really sorry that I can home in a bad mood last night and it must have been difficult for you” does wonders to deepen your relationship.
Fifth, whenever your partner comes in the door, stop whatever you are doing and deeply welcome your partner with your eyes, voice and touch. Treat your partner like he/she is the most important person in the world.
My buddy George has a regular practice for deepening his relationship. Every Sunday he will ask his wife Alice “what would you like to do today?” or “how can I help you with what you are doing?” or “if you had three wishes today what would they be?” Most important is simply listening. It doesn’t mean you have to grant all your partner’s wishes. It just means you open the door wide for deepening your relationship.
Now to you two as a couple: My friends Mike and Marcia uses a technique that gives me goose bumps as I’m writing it. Every night before they fall asleep, he says “I care about you” and she says “What I heard you saying is that you care about me.” Then he says, “ I appreciate you” and she says “what I heard you saying is you appreciate me.” And then they switch and she says she cares about him and so on. And they do it every night even if there’s tension and they don’t feel like saying it.
To have a deeper relationship you need to have a lot of fun with your partner. Here’s a fun thing Sue and Karen do on Valentines day. Sue opens her present and finds a clue. Like a treasure hunt, she follows one clue after another around the house until she finds “the” gift. It’s time to be creative and have fun and deepen your relationship.
Peter Hueholt is a Life Coach who coaches clients who want to create a relationship, deepen a relationship, save a relationship, or commit to a happier and healthier life. You can reach him at 434-361-9181 or at peter@happypathlifecoaching.com. Free sample session may be available.
