The Truth About Lying

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Cherese Jackson, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

What is the truth worth? In a time where lying has become an acceptable art, the lines between truth and error have been blurred. Our politicians do it, our teachers do it, our religious leaders do it, and even our children do it. It is difficult to hold anyone to a standard higher than the one we live by.

Where does it end? Famed German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “I am not upset that you lied to me, but that from now on I cannot believe you.” We have come to understand that the consequences of a lie have touched us all in negative ways. In fact, if we could, we would go back and un-do those situations. The truth of the matter is, you cannot un-tell a lie.

When we speak of empowerment, we are referring to the ability to remind others of the resident power living inside them. Empowerment also says that anytime they desire, they can release this power into their situations. Lies weaken and erode foundations. When we speak lies it’s usually the result of a moment in time we feel defeated and lack the courage to own the truth. It is a strong sign of character to be a person of integrity. When you honor yourself and your words, people will as well. Empowerment shows up to lend support in tough times.

A study was done by psychologist Dan Ariely of several liars and their circumstances. What was interesting was the ‘stories’ of why that existed behind the lies they told. He noticed (3) major trends:

(1) Liars usually will do it even if the stakes are pennies. Dan found that no matter how low the monetary amount, some lied as if millions were on the line. Proving there was an adrenaline rush associated with telling a lie.

(2) Liars often found pleasure in doing it to help others. These are people who want to help another so badly they would stake their reputation on it. There was a joy achieved in knowing their lie went to a good cause.

(3) Liars almost NEVER do it once. By the time the average liar is busted, there’s usually a trail left behind. The first thing they will scream is, this is my first lie. Dan says this is usually not the case at all.

There are a lot of variables that play into who we believe and why. It could be there face, body language or just a good feeling we have about them. When our trust has been betrayed by the horror of a lie it takes us for a loop. We usually begin with blaming ourselves. Wondering why we were stupid enough to fall for deceit. But in reality, we are often just the victim of someone who didn’t have the power to walk in the truth.

For many, the disconnection began in our youth. When we were told there were ‘white lies’ and ‘big lies’ we instantly began looking for ways to manipulate the system. We created a scale in our minds and little by little it became unbalanced. As we grew, the importance of our words did also. Now we stand as adults faced with hundreds of choices daily to do what is right or what is convenient. Far too often people make the wrong decision because they were never empowered properly.

We no longer have to live in this perpetual ‘grey area’ of life. We can stand up and own up to the life we live. With authenticity we can choose to be people of integrity and have words with honor. Remembering we are only as good as the weight of our words.

See you at the TOP!

Cherese Jackson