Living with ADD/ADHD- All or Nothing?
Living with ADD/ADHD or just have the tendency to impulsively throw the baby out with the bathwater, there is hope
Living with ADD/ADHD is like eating an elephant. It is a grand, magnificent event that takes over your world. The tremendous force visible just below the surface is earth shattering, and the texture of the grey thick skin is fascinating. If you take a minute to look into its soul, it seems to magically pull you in and invite you to love and be comforted by the sweetness that is within. (hmm.. that sounds a lot like people with ADHD, I know.. without the grey skin, of course ) I am having a hard time wanting to connect to the metaphor of eating something with that… even symbolically….. so, let’s try this again.
Living with ADD/ADHD is like eating a jet-liner. It is majestic and overpoweringly gigantic (but soulless!). One challenge that comes up time and time again is looking at the world as black and white, right and wrong, all or nothing. This can have the positive impact of endlessly striving for perfection and can take you far. The downside of this tendency is the impulse to chuck it all as soon as the first bump is hit. This not only prevents you from reaching your goals, it is a hit to self esteem. After a life time of thinking this way, that hit becomes a sledge hammer- who wouldn’t want to avoid that hit? So the question is do you stop trying when you feel the hammer looming?
If in fact you are living with ADD/ADHD or just have the tendency to impulsively throw the baby out with the bathwater, there is hope. Just imagine what life will be like without the sledge hammer hanging over your head ready to drop. (I feel lighter already!)
The first thing to do is to actually become aware of when this is happening. Chances are it is your default tendency and you are unconsciously making that choice due to the conscious knowledge of the hit looming. Ask yourself Why you take the actions you do- and do it often. Do your best to remove the tendency to berate yourself, just stick to the simple question and keep asking until you get to the A’HA level. A’HA is when you realize you have pulled back the blanket and discovered whole new territory.
Once you have discovered new territory, only then are you ready to take new actions. We are going to take that jet liner and break it down- bolt by bolt, with a blow torch if we have to. Then we make our plan that will get us where we want to go, keeping the end in sight but all of our energy and focus is on eating the first shiny metal bolt. Here’s to living with ADD/ADHD successfully!
Kimber Nelson is an ADHD coach that takes her clients off of the emotional roller coaster and onto the path of taking the Actions they have always Intended. Kimber is a certified in Life and ADHD coach and is the creator of the Actions Hero smartphone App. Actions Hero is designed for anyone – especially those living with ADD/ADHD – who wants a white-hot, wickedly effective time management system with a kick.