Is your life GREAT? Part I
Posted on August 29, 2012 by Anja Serfontein, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
This article was printed in Taiwan's International Community Magazine: How to make the best out of your assignment abroad?
Great to see that you are having the current issue of Centered on Taipei in your hands. Regardless if it is the printed or the iPad version, I do hope it has the same impact on you as it did on me when I picked up my first copy during our look-and-see trip in May 2010. I’ve read it and instantly felt a sense of community and belonging.
Presuming now, that you are still in Taiwan, please allow me to ask you this rather personal question: how are you doing? How are you really doing? Moving overseas and setting up a new home – regardless if it is for a defined short to mid-term range or if you are here for the long-run – it is a challenging task and it is easy to end up on the ‘o.k.’ side – rather than making sure your life is great! I am writing this article during my visit back home in Germany. Previously many family members and friends are asking: ‘So how are you doing overseas?’ – but this year I got to hear more than once: ‘You look great – seems like Taiwan is doing you good’ …and I have nothing to add but saying ‘Yes’ and smile.
But was it coincident that I am feeling like a fish in water or am I a natural chameleon in a foreign culture? I doubt so – I trust that my life could have taken a roller coaster ride just as anybody’s else. So what did I do differently? I hired a Coach. Not just any coach, but an expert in the field “from surviving to thriving”. Jeanne A Heinzer wrote a book on resources, tips & tools for women accompanying their partners on an international move. In her book “Living Your Best Life Abroad” I got inspired to use the “Art-of-living-abroad-wheel” (adapted from the Coaches Training Institute) for my own personal life. It is a great exercise to find out how you are doing.
Why not grab a piece of paper and draw a big circle that has 8 even pizza slices. Now choose your 8 most crucial categories in life and write them in each piece. The following are just a suggestion – but can be replaced as it suits your lifestyle: Work/Career, Money/Finance, Family & Friends, Love/Significant Other, Personal Growth, Physical Environment, Leisure Time as well as Health & Wellness. Considering that the center is a 0 and the outer circle is a maximum of 10 points – Ask yourself, on a scale from 0-10, how happy are you in each life area? Connect all scores and create your wheel. Can it roll or is it a rather bumpy ride?
If your wheel looks crooked or is small, reflecting low scores everywhere, don’t panic. Direct your energy to where it yields the highest benefits. Which area requires attention first? Notice that changes in one life area can lead to changes in another. Being healthy can increase your work performance and have a positive impact on your relationships. Take the first small step. As Leo Tolstoy put it: ‘True life is lived when tiny changes occur.’
Create a plan for your life – your life vision!
Just like a manager needs a business plan, expatriates require a plan for their personal venture called “life”. It includes a strong vision, clear objectives, and a conscious and honest discussion with the people around you.
If you could dream wildly, what would your vision of your life look like? What do you need to feel happy?
By putting on paper how different family members – assignee, accompanying partner and children – feel about their life situation, it is possible to better align expectations, needs and family responsibilities. You can negotiate what it takes to accommodate everyone’s vision. When you are actively involved from the beginning, you ‘own’ your own experience. You are not a “trailing spouse”, you are a full-fledged partner in building a successful transition.
You will see this new powerful vision (or perhaps even visions, if you include the entire family) will automatically result in decisions that you make for your new desired life. It feels like the mist in front of your eyes lifts and there is clarity. I, myself was overwhelmed by the amount of sheer endless opportunities that this International Assignment brought to me. I did settle for one priority: that was being there for my family – but after my daughter went to a local Kindergarten it left enough room to pursue my second priority and dream of becoming a Coach myself. I wish you clarity and the guts to make decisions in life! In the next CoT we will look at how to turn these decisions into action – so in order to make sure, that your life in Taiwan is REALLY GREAT!
