Dealing With Drama!
Posted on September 08, 2009 by Hunter Phoenix, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
How much drama is there in your life? It drains your joy, creativity and happiness...and here is how you can deal with it!
When I first started coaching, I was working with my own coach – a sharp smart lady who had a few simple rules for running her life; rules that I learned to love and quickly adopted as my own: “Work Hard, Have Fun, No Drama.” But being human, every once in a while I slip, and last week I broke rule # 3 – “No Drama”. What ensued was, life became less fun, and I got less work done, and all because of a little drama! Read on, and discover what I learned about dealing with drama.
Drama comes in many forms. It could show up as a bitter divorce, squabbling between family members, misunderstandings and legal hassles, or petty jealousies between friends. Sometimes we’re even the source of our own drama; beating ourselves up for perceived mistakes, over-thinking issues, or worrying incessantly about things that are beyond our control. Whatever the source, drama can take over your life, and drain your energy. While some things definitely take time to resolve, you’ll be healthier and happier if you can do it, minus the drama.
Here is a quick check list to help you identify any areas of drama in your own life:
__ are you always talking about or thinking about a particular person or situation
__ do you feel an ongoing sense of emotional entanglement or dread
__ are you prone to gossiping, or discussing things that would be better left unsaid
__ do you often feel fed up, anxious or frustrated
__ is there one person in your life who seems to continually emotionally ignite everyone in your group or family
__ are there situations that you know you should deal with but haven’t or don’t know how
__ is it difficult for you to be truthful with others involved in those situations
__ do you find yourself continually pulled into matters that have little or nothing to do with you
We all caught up in drama at one time or another, but you certainly don’t have to stay there! If you found yourself checking any of the items above, start by looking at steps you can take to begin to minimize some of the drama.
1. Stop talking about it. Catch yourself when you have the urge to gossip or rehash every little detail – this won’t produce any more solutions, only more drama.
2. Be in impeccable integrity. When you are truthful with yourself and others about what’s going on, drama has little roots to take hold. Tell the truth. Resist the urge to embellish or exaggerate – avoid the drama.
3. Identify “hot spots”. If certain people or places push your buttons, stay away from them or seek the help of an experienced therapist, counselor or coach to help you work through the situation.
4. Look for solutions. So often in life we are conditioned to look for what’s wrong, focusing on the problem and not the solution. This only keeps you unhappy and stuck. Acknowledge the problem, but concentrate on the solution.
5. Don’t play ball. It takes two teams to have a game, don’t be one of them. Do what you have to deal with the situation, but walk away from the drama. You’ll give yourself and problem the best chance for success and resolution.
So my challenge to you is…. to deal with your drama. Identify where it is, look for solutions and take the steps to clean it up. Movies and books are great for drama, so enjoy it, and leave it there!
Until next time, Work Hard! Play Hard! Have Fun! And this week…. No Drama!
Love, Life and Laughter! Hunter