If Only I Could Be Happy
Posted on October 16, 2012 by Phyllis Arnett, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
We know we will be happy when we have this, go there or do that. We live our lives waiting for something in the future to make us happy.
Why is it that we think our happiness depends on whether or not specific things or events take place in our lives or if we have certain material things. Now, you might be better at this than I am, but I have a tendency to think I will be happy “if only [insert any number of things that have not yet happened],” then I would be happy, because there is that nasty human tendency to only see what we do not have instead of being thankful, content, happy with what we have.
When I was a teenager I thought I would be happy if only I were old enough to move out of my parent’s house. Then it was if only I were married, if only I had a baby, if only I had married someone else. After the divorce and I had been a single mom for a few years it changed to if only I was married again. It seemed I was never happy. Even after my second husband and I got married, the if only’s continued — If only we had a house, if only he did not work nights, if only he would go to church with me, if only… I was never satisfied. There was always something that needed to take place before I could be happy.
I do not remember the specific event that took place or if it was just a combination of events, but I finally realized that happiness is a choice. It is being content with and grateful for life the way it is at any given moment. Sure, we plan, we save, we invest for the future. But we will never be happy living in the future. Happiness only comes by living in the moment and then only by finding something to be happy about.
So much of life is wasted on and controlled by what we think we need to make us happy. Once we are able to live a life of gratitude, we will be happier and create happiness around us. Our relationships will improve, our health will improve, and our daily lives will improve, because we will live fully in each moment. Grateful for each moment, for the people in our lives, for the ability to share with others, eliminates the stress of the “if only’s” and illuminates what we value, what we treasure, and what we hold dear.
