Getting Whats Owed To You
Posted on November 05, 2012 by Joseph Joseph, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Have you ever experienced someone saying- I would love you, if only you would change- Here's a way to change & get our relationships to work for us.
The only thing worse than a life without conviction is the life of deluded conviction.
Depending on a person who insists that s/he has to change you before s/he can do something (anything) is like drinking mercury to satisfy your thirst.
Enough ‘leaders’ retain positional authority by being accusative. They would do if not for us.
Have you ever experienced someone saying, “ I would love you, if only you would change.”
How terrible is that.
It’s amazing, how much energy some people can invest to keep us at the guilty end of a relationship.
Their entire success depends somehow on our retaining guilt.
By some twisted logic we are irrationally, both dependent on them and the cause of their non-performance.
Such relationships thrive, however, only because we equally distribute guilt to the other end.
We walk about feeling sufficiently guilty perhaps but exist and survive by accusing our accuser equally.
The balance of our now-I-hate-you-now-I-don’t relationships, see saws between accusations.
Transformational change is to have these see saw between affirmations.
So many of us go through life like infants refusing milk, unless cosmetic surgery were done on the mother’s teat.
We’re more satisfied with our wailing than our actual satiation.
Our inner person has a stronger craving than our physical being.
We’re happier paying the price of accusing our spouse or partner, than paying the price of trusting them.
Idiotically, we choose the realm, or state-of-reality, we want to live in but accuse some one else for our experience.
I would drink that milk if your teat were perfect!
I would do, if not for you.
What is it that we want to be successful at?
Stop for a moment and write down in big bold letters the one thing that those dependent on you, or on whom you claim dependence, do not allow you to do.
What is someone else disabling you from doing?
An affliction more prevalent than the common cold is mans proclivity to manage himself.
Managing another human being requires a skill simply beyond all our current educational and training processes.
It needs character to manage another.
It needs complete faith in the latent potential existing within every individual to manage another.
The weak, however, say that they have learnt to deal with ‘reality’…and their reality is usually in the tone of “ I’ve tried and nothing is going to change.”
Everybody else, except themselves, has reached their individual level of incompetence.
Imbecile subordinates, silly spouses, useless team, undependable everybody else…are common phrases of those who have excelled at managing themselves.
They’re almost always saying: “ I am who I am in spite of you and because of me.”
Make that investment today.
Wipe the slate clean.
Accept your own incompetence to be on the responsible side of a responsible relationship.
Get what’s owed to you.
You’ll know you’ve received it in full when you can honestly say: “I am who I am in spite of me and because of you.”
In your marriage. In your business. In your career. In your home.
Try it and let me know.
Work this miracle in your life: Make your barbed wire, silken thread.
