What Do You Really Want?
Posted on November 12, 2012 by Lynn Bacon, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
We think we want "things", but what we really want is the feeling that we've had with them in the past.
Do you know that feeling that you get when you think you need a new car, or a new pair of shoes? Sometimes people feel like they’ve gotten as much as they can out of their employment and feel the need to look for a new job or just feel the need to do something wild and crazy and go to get that tattoo they’ve always wanted. Then, a couple weeks later, the shoes hurt their feet and don’t match any outfits, that car is a police magnet and the tattoo looks hideous!
So, how do we know what we really want? People think that they really want things, but what they really want is the feeling that those things give them. Try this – pick something that you want (a thing, an experience, a change, a feeling, etc.). Now, ask yourself “what will this give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have?” For example, you want a new outfit. What will that give you that you wouldn’t otherwise have? Maybe your answer might be “to be able to wear something new.” What would that get you? Then you might respond “I’d feel better about myself.” If you keep going on this path, you will eventually come to the real answer that will be a feeling (usually something like security, happiness, control or self-approval or respect). This is the feeling that you’ll have when you get what you want.
What would happen if you chose to feel it now? Can you choose to feel good about yourself? Can you choose to feel awesome in your old t-shirt and jeans? Of course, you can! You get to choose to feel any way you want to feel and you don’t have to feel the blisters from the shoes or the regret of getting that tattoo.
When we’re looking at getting what we want in life, it happens differently than we think it will. It’s not necessarily wrong to want something new every now and then, but when we’re trying to fill voids in our lives with “stuff”, we’re on the wrong path to getting what we really want. When we choose to feel the way we want to feel, we make it much easier for the things we want to come into our lives.
