Taming the Gremlin
Posted on October 11, 2013 by Tricia Hollyer, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Find solutions to that ever-present inner critic with some simple strategies.
We all struggle with doubt, with questions about whether we’re doing the right thing, whether our ideas make sense, whether we’re capable of accomplishing what we want. The biggest obstacle we often face is our own self-talk, the mean voice in our head that tells us all kinds of lies. Yes – lies.
We tend to believe that voice, but it’s WRONG. It’s the one that says things like “you can’t” and “you should” and “you need to” and “you don’t deserve”. That voice – that gremlin – wants us to accept its’ interpretations as reality and wants to keep us small and fearful. And it gets more powerful every time we engage it, whether to debate, agree, or just give it our attention. Rick Carlson’s excellent book “Taming Your Gremlin” offers great insight about how to recognize and neutralize that hypercritical inner voice in a simple, approachable way. Some of his suggestions for detecting and foiling your gremlin:
When you think “I can’t”, change it to “I choose” – “I can’t tell him how I feel” becomes “I choose not to tell him how I feel” or perhaps “Until now I have chosen not to tell him how I feel”.
When you catch yourself thinking “I should”, stop, breathe, and notice. Notice that you’re engaged in a battle with your gremlin and giving it your attention will only make it stronger. Try replacing it with “I choose to” or “I choose not to”.
When you hear yourself say “I don’t deserve”, ask yourself whether the guilt you feel is valid – do you owe someone something? Treat it like an IOU. Make a decision to either tear up the IOU if you don’t owe something, or act on it and then tear it up if you do. Recognize that you have choices.
