Do you know what Karma says?
Posted on November 06, 2013 by Valentina Di Pietro, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Change your action and how you speak. Take responsibility of your actions: it is empowering and it will make you want to change.
“I see you”. In coaching, it is important to talk about responsibility of one’s action. It is empowering, but at first clients think it is scary. Cause and effect and the idea that everything you do has consequences, can be a little intimidating.
I thought about it on Sunday morning, when I had to deal with an abusive customer. An old man, angry at the whole world it seemed. In this situation, I have to get a lot of help from the coach in me. I have to ask the coach to coach the restaurant owner.
How can you be so angry on Sunday morning at 10 am, when the day has not even started yet? How can you be so angry in a wonderful sunny day in San Diego, with clear sky? well, apparently you most certainly can.
This 60 something years old man got in my restaurant wanting to destroy the joy of a Sunday morning. Angry while getting the order, angry at the server, angry at the manager. Just angry. I always have to remember that behind every single customer there is a story, there are emotions, there are experiences. That man chose my restaurant to release a lot of the anger that his past and probably his present caused him.
He returned food so nicely prepared, he cancelled order after 2 minutes he ordered it. He complained about leaves salad. Yes, he got angry at the salad. But the best of his worst behavior had yet to come. “What kind of place you have here? That’s is why you are always empty”. Apart from this not being the truth, this is the worst thing to say to a any person who owns a business. After this manifestation of pure evil, we decided to offer the entire brunch and have him leave. Of course, he did not thank us and left without even looked us in the eyes and say goodbye.
If I could say something to this person, it would just be: “You know that Karma has a perfect eyesight?” And then I would remind him that his action have consequences, visible and invisible. Your unnecessary cruelty will not fix your pain, will not cure your sadness. You just perpetuate your sadness creating sadness in somebody else. This was the contribution to the world by this man on Sunday morning. How wonder how his life looks like when he goes home. Probably, on his way home, somebody will tell him: “What kind of person are you? This is why your heart is always empty”.
I am using this example during coaching when clients are disconnected from their actions. When they act in ways that hurt themselves and others. Clients who come to their session wanting to modify their behavior at work or at home, must get this reminder: your actions have consequences. And if you do not act on your actions, results or lack of results will manifest. It is one of most difficult part of coaching: help client to change behavior and patterns, making them realize that their own life is a result of how they acted so far, but they can change now. They have the power and the will to make the change.
And yes, Karma does see the change of actions. And once actions have changed, life will look better, and not just on Sunday morning.
PS A little note to the old man: thank you for getting out the best of me.
