Marriage - The First Ministry

Posted on August 24, 2010 by Dr Glyniel Garner, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Marriage – The First Ministry

Statistics reveal that about 45 – 50 percent of all marriages will eventually end in divorce. These numbers are staggering to say the least. These numbers include Christian marriages as well.

Why are these numbers so high? The answer: marriages have stopped being a priority in the lives of many busy couples.

Work, children, and social activities have been substituted for the number one ministry between a man and a woman – that is the ministry of marriage.

What is ministry? Ministry is from the Greek word “diakoneo”, meaning “to serve” or “douleuo”, meaning “to serve as a slave”. In the New Testament, ministry is seen as a service to God and to other people in His name. Jesus provided the blueprint for the pattern of Christian ministry – He came, not to receive service, but to give service (Matthew 20:28; Mark 10:45; John 13:1-17)

In marriage, couples are to minister by meeting the other’s needs with love and humility on Christ’s behalf (Matthew 20:26; Mark 10:43; John 2:5,9; Acts 6:3; Romans 1:1; Galatians 1:10; Colossians 4:12).

When we think of ministry, we think of the minister or the pastor of a church or the different functioning organizations within the church. As married couples, it is our obligation to be the minister in our spouse’s life.

Counseling and Life Coaching are wonderful tools to assist couples and individuals who are in desperate need of these services and are very much necessary for the help they provide. If couples would not only think of themselves as just husbands and wives but think of themselves as ministers to their spouses, the counseling load would not be as great. Ministering to your spouse can and should include ministering to the physical, emotional, mental, vocational, and financial needs of the other.

Marriages today have become self-centered when the marriage is no longer two people being one, but two people remaining as two. My money, your money, my car, your car – couples are living more separate and divided lives within the same home. Today solid and happy homes are becoming a thing of the past. There are no more Ozzie and Harriet’s, Leave It to Beaver’s or Father Knows Best households. In these homes husbands and wives were both in the home, fathers took the roles of headship, provider, mentor and the disciplinarian in the home, and fathers were looked up to as the children’s hero, not an action figure on television. Wives could be at home to raise the children and not rely on daycare to nurture and care for the family. In these homes, husbands and wives were the staple of the family and took active roles in the lives of their children and their communities. Times have changed so drastically. Today there are one parent households, children being raised by television, the drop out rate for high school students is at an all time high, and a major part of the criminal activities in our society are committed by our youth.

The Cosby Show tried to depict a solid family image to American families and some did not buy this as reality, especially for the African American community.

I can think of couples who were happily married five years ago, who today are no longer married or are now living emotionally divorced and living separated lives within the home. Marriage is the foundation to a great family life and God’s greatest tool for ministry.

Great marriages with their priorities in order depend on these elements to remain fortified: honesty, communication, commitment, and sacrifice. Placing our spouse as our first priority will produce true prosperity in our homes. There will be nothing missing, nothing lacking and nothing broken.

The Bible speaks of several action verbs in Genesis 2:24 which models some priorities in marriage. The first verb is to “leave”. Man is to leave his mother and father and to establish a new beginning with his wife. The second verb is to “cleave”. Man is to leave his mother and father and to cleave to his wife. Cleave means to weld together or stick to like glue.

Marriage is not only a priority- it is preeminent. It is superior to, and surpassing above all other human relationships. Husband and wife are to be bound together and should not be cut apart. The third verb in this passage of scripture is the verb “be”. First, man is to leave then to cleave and to be one flesh. Becoming one is more than being physically one, but also psychologically one which is communication.

Most marriages break down for a lack of communication with their spouse. The lack of attention and communication will eventually result in both parties involved to struggle, which will finally cause a break down in the home. Couples must stay committed to the vows they took on their wedding day before the Lord, to be committed “for better or for worse”. There will be difficult times in the marriage and that is not the opportunity for the husband or the wife to bail out of the marriage. We are to stick it out and give that situation over to God. Be committed in “for richer or poorer”. In these tough economic times that we are facing, when some are just getting by, when the prices are high and the paychecks are low, commitment is essential. Lastly, be committed in “sickness and in health”. We do not know what challenges or sickness either spouse may face in the life of the marriage. We are to continue to love and to cherish our mate til death does part us.

Ministry can and should be carried out daily in our lives with our spouses. God set the example of how much He loved us that He gave His only begotten Son to come to earth and die on a cross for us. It was God’s priority to send us a Savior. We in turn, are to love and meet the needs of our spouse as a priority, setting the example in our marriages and sharing our love just as God has done for us.

by Glyniel Garner

Glyniel Garner is a Professional Life Coach, Board Certified Biblical Counselor, Certified Marriage Mentor, Small Group Trainer & Facilitator. She is the founder of New Horizon Coaching Associates & LIFE Enrichment Ministries in Ocala, Florida. She is a wife for over 23 years & mother. Glyniel can be reached at www.nhca-llc.com