When Failure turns to Success
Posted on April 09, 2014 by Donna Spina, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
The Art of Reframing, a helpful skill in life, means looking at a comment, situation, or event from different angles before rushing to a conclusion.
A Coaching Skill: “Reframing”
“I made a mess of that presentation. That’s it. I’m worthless at this type of thing.”
Reframing is the talent of looking at a comment, situation, or event from a different angle. It simply places a new picture within an old picture. Human Beings attach meaning to everything making a significant impact on how we respond. The meaning can be positive or negative, good or bad, within or out of our control. Reframing creates a new, empowering way of seeing. It brings about a different conclusion, feeling, or expands possibilities which lead to deeper learning or a call to action. Reframing can help us to step into the other person’s shoes. It is a new tool to replace that old window on how you view your Life in the moment or the world at large.
Instead of generalizing a judgment about yourself or another’s behavior, it is important to grasp that the statement or situation is isolated. Allow your internal dialogue to evaluate the matter based on its own specific merit. Ask yourself these questions:
Honestly, how well prepared was I for the presentation?
What made it a “mess”?
What did I do well?
What “rules” am I using here that could be challenged?
What might be the lesson(s) here?
Let’s Reframe now:
“The power went off briefly, my computer died, and I did not have a written script because I am all about using the latest and greatest technology. Next time, I will print out my speech and bring a power cord for the laptop just in case.”
What impact did that still true version have instead?
Did it take a hard fall to a softer one?
Expanding on this, there are some words in our everyday vocabulary that a simple switch can change the whole perception for both the speaker as well as the person on the other side of the conversation.
Limiting: can’t, should, have to, try
Empowering: choose not to, choose to, could, will
In real estate, the catch phrase is “Location, Location, Location.” To be a truly successful Leader of your Life, the key is “Mindset, Mindset, Mindset”.
There are a variety of reasons why people’s language unconsciously reflects the negative of a matter first. We have all been guilty, at some point and to varying degrees, wallowing in self-pity, fearing change, dwelling on the past when history repeats itself, worrying about what others think about us, or being too impatient to allow success to arrive in its own time.
Here is your assignment if you chose to reach higher and rise to the challenge.
Pick one day with unbridled intention to raise your awareness of how your speech reflects your mindset. Write down each word every time you catch yourself defaulting to an excuse, blame, or self-sabotage. Then rewrite a new view turning those lemons to lemonade. Pause for a few moments to drink it in, feel its impact. Then, this might be the biggest leap in belief, give yourself permission to adopt the revision as Truth.
What value will this bring? You will:
Gradually train yourself to not give your power away.
Learn to accept change as energizing not something to fear.
Understand some things will always be outside of your control so don’t sweat the small stuff.
Realize we are uniquely perfect despite our self-inflicted imperfections.
More clearly determine the pros and cons to any new, seemingly risky venture.
Live in the Present, having learned and grown from the Pains of Past lessons.
Joyfully and genuinely recognize success exists in many forms for everyone.
Gain Patience. Savor the journey to the destination counting the blessings along the way.
Life is always about choices and not making one is still a choice. Small changes can have big impact. Learn to “reframe” your language and way of thinking. Hire a coach to get there faster. Take action now. The results will astound you.