HOW TO MOVE OUT OF VICTIM MENTALITY
Consider that real leadership is beyond training. It begins with taking responsibility at a both a high and "every day" level.
No one wants to cop to being a victim. There seems to be a reluctance in most of us to admit that we are at any given time acting, talking or thinking like someone who has been victimized. Right now I’m being victimized by Microsoft Word spell and grammar check as it underlines words and phrases I type incorrectly. Small example, but it shows how pervasive this mentality can be.
The alternative to being a victim is quite simple: Be an owner.
Why don’t we do that? The adult reason could be we don’t want to admit fault … but let’s get to that later.
Another possibility? Could be there’s just not as much drama in it. Think drama doesn’t apply to you?
If you get wronged by someone, some thing, or traffic, or the weather … taking responsibility for your role in the matter just isn’t as juicy as blaming your circumstances. If you call up your sympathizers and sway them to your side it can be bring an interesting and dramatic fun to your life. Plus you have a story to tell … again, and again, and again, and again.
It could even become the story of your life! Now you have an identity to cling to and to blame for your failures!
“I would have been successful if not for that thing that happened to me when I was a child …”
“I would have been on time if not for the unexpected traffic at 5:30 on a Friday afternoon …”
“I could go to the gym and get back in-shape if not for my work and family obligations …”
A little dramatic, yes. But isn’t that what we do? If not out loud, internally?
What might be the dramatic story of your life? If you don’t think you have one ask the people in your life. It will occur to them as the thing(s) you regularly complain about.
Big topics might be:
Marriage, job or health …
Smaller ones might look like:
Aches, allergies, broken back door, appliance with a mind of its own, unnecessary and incessant ding when your car’s in reverse …
The relief is found in a jump from victim mentality to owner … and it is actually not a big jump. How do we make that little hop?
Not to leave you hanging, but we’ll discuss more on victim mentality another day.
I did headline this entry as a teaser, but we’ll leave you with this:
More than requiring real work what it really takes is a different way of thinking about who’s in charge of your life. The willingness to make that shift in thinking is what makes all the difference.