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Searching for Myself

Posted on January 14, 2015 by Susanne Johnson, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Often, once we have done things to build a good life, we are left feeling empty.
The second part of life is about finding our true self.

 My mom always told me, “just be yourself and others will want to know you”. I also heard, “unless you love yourself you can never truly love others.” I didn’t understand these concepts until I reached mid-life. It turns out that you can only truly learn them through suffering and most people have not suffered enough until mid-life or after. The passage of time itself teaches that we do not have as much control over outcomes as we would like. The life we built does not answer the essential questions human beings search for, such as, is there god, how to die, and what is the meaning of all this. Then what do we do? This can be scary. Things that used to relieve stress don’t work anymore. There is now a larger problem and the ways we used to deal with anxiety are not effective anymore. We have run out of ideas and we are suffering. At that point we would be wise to change our way of being. The second part of life is concerned with finding our true self and ending the meaningless suffering. Approaching true self in the second part of life comes more from letting go rather than holding on and from reframing our history rather than staying with the same skewed meanings we heard from others or told ourselves. My mantra today is, “if you don’t love me you don’t get a vote”. Your true self is the part of you that has always been, but got masked with anxiety and lies about who you are. If people are going to mature spiritually it comes after suffering through younger years to find that their life isn’t exactly the way they had imagined it would be. There are feelings of emptiness, loneliness, a lack of purpose and a lack of love. Some of the basic human needs, after physical survival, is to have purpose, feel loved, and that we belong. That is an inner job, more about being still than doing things to make it happen. It is not about getting others to love us so our needs will be filled, it is about connecting with a universal, unconditional love and knowing it’s true. This connection reveals true self. That journey to discover self is unique for everyone, but can be supported and facilitated by one who has been on their own journey. I am passionate about this work and offer my services in an office in Cave Creek, AZ.

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