Happiness = Reality - Expectations

Posted on April 28, 2015 by Tricia Ryan, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

According to the formula (Happiness = Reality – Expectations), a failsafe way of sustaining high happiness levels is to maintain low expectations. This formula suggests that one’s happiness levels are inversely proportional to one’s expectations. So if you have low expectations you can’t, in reality, help but be happy for any over-delivery. It also suggests that by setting up your subconscious for poor or substandard outcomes, you will be happy with your current reality. However, we know most people are not happy with their current reality and often want more or better in their life.

According the work of Brian Tracy and many other psychology experts, The Law of Expectations says that whatever you expect with confidence, positive or negative, becomes your reality. If you confidently expect to succeed, if you confidently expect to learn something from every experience, if you confidently expect to become wealthy as a result of applying your talents and abilities to your opportunities and you maintain that attitude of confident expectations long enough, it will become your reality. It has been suggested through research that a positive, optimistic, cheerful attitude is attractive and causes people to want to help you, and will result in things happening the way you want them to happen. So the Law of Expectation and Cause and Effect come into play in natural harmony, yielding the outcome you desire but based upon your expectation thermostat.

Accordingly, this formula may be a failsafe way of sustaining high happiness levels as you maintain low expectations. It may appear not to be in conflict to have a low expectation at a fast food restaurant and then to have it exceed your expectations with great service. But would you want to have your subconscious setting you up on a daily basis for achieving far less than your potential?

What might be a better formula? High Expectations + Reality = Happiness

Since the only thing in life you can control is the way you think, your outer world or your reality is a reflection of your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. If you can set your expectations high and support these expectations with beliefs and emotions, it stands to reason that you can architect your destiny and the amount of happiness you experience.

How easy is it to change your expectations and set the bar at a new level?
First, a review of your beliefs may be in order. You always act in a manner consistent with your beliefs, especially your beliefs about yourself. These beliefs can act like a set of filters. You tend to see what you already believe and therefore don’t allow yourself the opportunity for something different to happen. The worst beliefs and, sadly, the most powerful are our “Self-limiting beliefs”. These beliefs often put the brakes on your potential. They can hold you back and most often create doubt and fear. This can lead to hesitation in you fulfilling your full potential. So, challenging these beliefs will be critical to changing expectations.

Changing beliefs may not be easy but it begs the question, where in your life are you letting self-limiting beliefs hold you back? What can you do or what would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail?

It is important to remember that expectations have a significant impact not only on you but also on others around you. What you expect from people and situations determines your attitude toward them more than any other factor, and people reflect your attitude right back at you like a mirror, whether positive or negative.

Challenging your beliefs and expectations may not be an easy exercise on your own. But not being happy with your reality is a sign that something is up. To receive support in understanding and obtaining the resources you need to maximize your success and fine tune your expectation thermostat, consider the FocalPoint Business Coaching Model. It will deliver progressive action by taking a proactive “one step at a time approach”, that is unique to you.