Devastating Loss Can't Stop You!
Posted on December 17, 2015 by Frederica Peterson, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
In the midst of devastating loss or unwanted transition the pain and disappointment can feel insurmountable but your best days are ahead of you.
I am writing this to encourage someone that is experiencing devastating loss and finding themselves in the uncertainty of an unwanted transition. I want to assure you its not over, it really is a new beginning. I have been through some devastating losses over the past few years. What I know from experience is that the pain and trials we often face are not for ourselves but is the training ground to equip us to help others that may not have the strength or resources to recover own their own.
So, embrace the fact that this is a new beginning whether you initiated it or not, new beginnings are often “un-initiated”. Your greatest loss could lead you to your biggest blessing! Think about it, what if Oprah never got fired from her anchor position early in her career?
Don’t misunderstand, I encourage you to feel the pain, the loss and the disappointment, but don’t stay there. Acknowledge it; go eat your Hagan Daz in your PJ’s for a few days and check out. It is needed and necessary, and all part of your healing process. When our brain has been hit with a trauma we have to recover and take the time to heal and gather our thoughts, there is nothing wrong or strange about it. Giving yourself permission to check out will help you reset and gain the strength to move forward, when your ready.
Loss is defined as, “the state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value”. In this context loss can mean several things, loss of a job, loss of a marriage, loss of a loved one, or loss of a home, to name a few. Feelings of grief are usually associated with the loss of a loved one but they are not limited to this. There is nothing more damaging than dealing with unprocessed grief. Some of the symptoms of unprocessed grief can be anger, unexplained health issues, forgetfulness, anxiety, and stress.
Often we only deal with loss in the moment and think, “I’m good” or “I got this” or the famous, “Just keep it moving”, all mantras to reflect how strong we are. Sigh, respectfully I suggest that these are very bad habits we have embraced. Yeah, you need to be strong but being strong doesn’t mean holding it all in, that is not wise, you are creating a luggage terminal and who the heck wants to carry all that baggage around! It is exhausting! Being strong is your ability to pick up the pieces after the devastation and put them back together so you can move forward toward your new beginning (or a new normal)! You may feel like you have no power right now because your circumstances are out of your control but the real power is in the choices you make in the midst of your trial.After you have mourned the loss and allowed yourself the opportunity to experience the grief, embrace the reality that “this to shall pass.” When you’re ready, rise up and know that it is a new day. Remember, this IS JUST THE BEGINNING! Your best days are ahead of you, I promise!
