Allowing Yourself to Grieve During Divorce
Posted on June 21, 2016 by Jodi Peary, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Grieving during divorce is a natural part of the divorce process. Be Accepting of All of Your Emotions and Give Yourself Time to Grieve.
Conscious awareness is an important ingredient when creating a new phase of life. With conscious awareness we can choose our responses to life and allow ourselves to grieve. Grief is a part of loss and both are natural parts of the divorce process. However, we live in a culture that often praises cheerfulness and shuns other expressions of emotion. Especially during divorce, where you may have pursued a divorce, reluctantly or not, people will act as though grieving during divorce is unacceptable. Grieving during divorce is a natural part of the divorce process.
How to Allow Yourself to Grieve During Divorce
Be Accepting of All of Your Emotions
It is normal to experience mixed or unexpected emotions while going through a divorce. Awareness of your emotions, such as anger or relief, can help you to use your emotions as tools for recovery.
Be Kind to Yourself & Open to New Interpretations of Events
You do not want the legal aspects of your divorce to last any longer than necessary but healing should not have a deadline. Taking time to grieve helps you to realize the lessons we learn through every loss, including divorce. We have all heard about how at the peak of winter, a sliver of spring shows itself. Having an open mind and an inclusive viewpoint can help you to see the slivers of spring that glimmer through even the most daunting of divorce situations. Be curious about other ways to interpret different events during divorce and throughout life.
Surround Yourself with Your Support Team and Have Time Alone
The quintessential paradox is that we are both completely unique and at the same time so very similar to other human beings. By consciously balancing your inner and outer worlds and your alone time and social time, you will be both supported and working on autonomy. Individuals require different amounts of alone time. Take time to consider your social needs and your boundaries for time alone.
Care for Yourself Physically and Mentally
The experience of negative stress is related to physical and mental components. Life is more manageable when you are nourished and have eaten and are hydrated. It is not silly to use reminders for these types of needs when you are in the midst of what feels like an emotional storm. Balancing rest and exercise also help you to achieve the mental and emotional health you need to get through what is inevitably a trying time.
Try Something Creative
When grief or emotions are difficult to process or put into words, utilizing a creative outlet may help. Writing, art, music….What sets your mind free?
Professional Help
A divorce coach can help guide you through the divorce process and help you to achieve your goals and objectives for the divorce. However, if you feel your grief is excessive or you have any thoughts of suicide, reach out for help. You are not alone.
