Low Self-Esteem
Posted on October 11, 2016 by Heather Hancock, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.
Low Self-Esteem affects many people and can result in a vicious cycle that is hard to get out of. Healthy Self-Esteem is attainable - there is hope!
What do you see when you look in the mirror?
The answer to that question might surprise you…if you are honest.
There are many reasons for the answers we have, but the root of it goes down to the shaping of our self-esteem.
What Is Self Esteem?
Self-esteem can involve a variety of beliefs about the self, such as the appraisal of one’s own appearance, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors.
What Shapes Our Self-Esteem?
The shaping of our self-esteem begins in childhood and continues on through our lives.
On the positive side: if we experience nurturing, encouragement and love in a safe environment growing up, then that usually fosters a healthy developing self-esteem.
On the negative side: if we experience trauma, abuse, pain (physical, emotional or psychological), bullying, etc. and do not feel safe, then that fosters a very negative self-esteem.
Internal Monologue
What results is an internal monologue. A repetitive set of statements of belief.
For example: growing up I endured endless bullying in the form of mocking (the kids would mock my spastic movements), calling of names (cripple, retard) and physical beatings. I was told I should have died at birth, that “I didn’t deserve the air I breathed.”
Over time, I came to believe those words were true.
Every time I looked in the mirror, my internal monologue was a repetitive cycle of these words and I hated what I saw in the mirror. This resulted in establishing core beliefs which were destructive and based on assumptions.
Now we may grow up with a healthy self-esteem and then relationships with partners or coworkers can erode that self-esteem. Life is hard and life experiences have an impact. Low self-esteem is a vicious cycle.
Low Self Esteem – Negative Expectancies – Low Effort/High Anxiety – Failure – Self-Blame – Lower Self-Esteem.
How to Break the Cycle
It takes courage and the willingness to evaluate our core beliefs and determine exactly what is true and what is not.
Once we have replaced the lies that we have bought into with the truth of who we really are, we can then shift our mindset from expecting negative results and negative things in our lives to expecting positive results and positive things.
This then provides motivation and decreases our anxiety as we begin to dream for ourselves and create plans and actions to achieve our dreams.
Most of us struggle with this process. Many need help and do not know where to turn.
That’s where coaching comes in. Finding the right person to come alongside and help is priceless.
Guess what?
You deserve it and you are worth it!
