What’s the real cost of your “people problem”?
Some people say you can't change people. This can put business leaders in a tough position. But the truth is you can change people, and here's how...
Contrary to what most people think, the #1 predictor of job satisfaction isn’t how much you like doing your job tasks but how well you get along with the people you work with.
And for a business leader, this can put you in a very tough position.
I’ve noticed a lot of people have issues with their boss, staff or co-workers in their company or business who make their job difficult, stressful, slow or downright unbearable.
Many of us have had the employees, co-workers or boss “from hell.”
And to say it’s not fun is the understatement of the year.
We spend a huge chunk of our lives working, and we shouldn’t just be tolerating this time and waiting for the weekend or that big payday to arrive (when it will all be worth it?), but loving that time even though we’re away from our family and friends, and what matters most to us. Anything else is a waste.
I’ve been through these same situations myself at in the large corporate and small business worlds, so I know how hard it can be to focus on doing your work or having the energy to deal with people, run your team and stay productive, when instead you want to poke your eye out with a pen, or set fire to your phone or computer so you won’t have to receive crazy, time-sucking emails, requests for useless meetings or ongoing interruptions.
It can make you insane, sometimes even physically sick and emotionally drained.
When one of my clients was telling me about an incredibly difficult time in her job, she ended with a heavy sigh:
“But, you can’t change people.”
The good new is that, actually, you can change people.
Even the crazy people you work with.
I’ve done it.
My clients have done it.
==> The key is to change your behavior so they react differently to you.
Because, you see:
==> We are always training people on how to treat us.
It’s usually subconscious or unintentional that we communicate what we are ok with, what we will tolerate and what we won’t accept.
This is really important.
But most people miss it.
How we react to others’ actions and behaviors informs them on how to treat us going forward.
Think about it.
If someone shows up late to a meeting, and you say, “That’s ok” and move on, what will the think?
Well, probably that… It’s OK!
Or if they ask you to take on a task that you aren’t ready for, able to handle, or don’t want to do, but you take it without question…
You know what will happen:
You’ll get more of the same.
When they received a reaction from you that’s favorable to them, they will continue doing what they did.
If they receive a reaction from you that is not to their liking, they will have more motivation to change so they get a reaction that is more to their liking.
Again, this is often subconscious.
So if you want to change the people around you and solve your “people problem,” you need to change the way you’re reacting to others.
Consider this next time you have a run-in, an uncomfortable conversation that you needs to happen, or a request that you would rather decline or modify.
What are your boundaries?
What are you willing to accept?
What can you offer instead?
How will your responses and reactions to these people train them about how to treat you?
And when you do change your reactions, how much will your work and life transform in positive directions?
It’s up to you. You can change people.
Because you’re a leader.
Jason E. Rosado
Business & Executive Coach
Distinctive Coaching for Business Success
“Helping business leaders to create powerful, thriving organizations as you work less, earn more and live the life you’ve always wanted.”