Life-Changing Question

Posted on August 16, 2017 by Bob Van Baren, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

I am learning more and more about the importance of asking the right questions, because the
right questions have the power to transform us. I have a question today that I believe carries that
type of importance. Here it is: “What is one thing, that if you stopped doing it you would no
longer be yourself?” I have used this question to better understand those in my community and
myself.

This question came to me in a meeting as I was expressing my concern about a friend who I was
worried was going to burn out from their busyness. One of the people in attendance looked at
me and responded, “I believe if he stopped being this way, he would no longer be him.” I was
frustrated with this response, because they were right and I missed it. It was a humbling moment
for me, because I take pride in being able to identify the strengths of others. The strength of this
person is their energy and their ability get a lot done. If I kept their pace, I would be toast, and I
was putting this perception on them. In other words, I was focusing on their strength as if it was
a weakness.

This question is powerful for understanding yourself and others. It can be a powerful
development tool. You should ask it of yourself first, but I suggest you also ask others to answer
it for you and then compare answers. Once they give you feedback, ask them the same question
for them to answer about themselves. Sometimes our strengths are staring at us in the mirror
and we still miss it, but this question can shine light on what drives us in life. Maybe you will
learn that some view your strengths as weaknesses and you can open up a dialogue with them to
learn more.

Once you know more, you can create a game plan to grow that strength. This question plays a role in all of my coaching.