Has "Being Professional" Affected our Ability to Really Connect at Work?
Posted on September 30, 2017 by Tammy Holzer, One of Thousands of Entrepreneurship Coaches on Noomii.
This article explores the idea of how professionalism has gone too far and limited our ability to really connect at work.
In my mission to bring heart back into the workplace, I’ve been observing various work environments and wondering what factors are getting in the way of people really connecting with each other.
One of the ideas I’ve been thinking about is the notion of “being professional” at work. We all know the phrase, but what does it really mean to each person? It could mean things like be polite, follow the rules, be on time, be respectful, reliable, dress professionally, etc. Nothing wrong with these, right?
On the flip side, being professional can mean “keep it surface”, or “keep your feelings hidden.” Or, if a customer or coworker is upset it means don’t engage, or react – be polite. Maybe we don’t want to be inappropriate or say the wrong thing in fear of crossing a line or breaking some sort of policy – so we stay guarded. Whatever the case, I believe that “keeping it surface/professional” has impacted our ability to form trust and care in workplaces.
I’m surprised how many work environments I’ve seen in which people are nice and polite to each other and get along, but keep their emotions and true self hidden. Workplaces where people spend 8-10 hours a day together, yet know nothing about each other’s outside life, interests, family members, kids, etc. No wonder people are feeling lonely, tired and disengaged.
I’ve participated in conference calls where the leader of the call cites positive affirmations to the participants and generally tries to insight a positive environment. However, the person has no relationship or connection to the people on the call, so although nice, it’s still missing the mark to form loyalty, trust and engagement.
Here’s what’s missing:
HUMAN CONNECTIONS.
BEING REAL.
SHOWING CARE FOR ONE ANOTHER.
Think about it. Have you ever had a boss or coworker(s) that you had a deep friendship or connection with (maybe you do now). How much does this relationship influence how much you want to stay at that organization, how happy you are, and how engaged you are? I know in the past when I’ve had a boss that truly knew me, knew about my family and my outside life and supported me personally and professionally – I was extremely loyal and engaged. I knew they cared about me, and I would take a bullet for them. (Okay maybe not a bullet, but you get the point).
Several years ago I was on a non-profit committee and participated in weekly board meetings. At the beginning of each meeting, the leader asked everyone to take a few minutes to check-in. At my first meeting, I was stunned to hear the deep insight people were sharing, that had nothing to do with why we were there. Things that were going on in their outside life that may be troubling them, or a difficulty they had that morning. It was a way to establish being present, acknowledging whatever was going on in their life, and connect deeply to the group. I began to look forward to these meetings for that reason! I could be real! And not be judged for it! I’ll never forget what an amazing impact that had on the group and our ability to work together and connect with each other.
So what are some ways to connect with each other? One of the exercises I like to do with groups I’m working with is to begin any meeting/workshop with simple connecting exercises, to establish this same type of connection and trust. It’s deeper than an “icebreaker.” It can start with a sentence stem like: Something you may be surprised to learn about me is… Or, it can be short like using one or two words to describe how you’re currently feeling (happy, sad, anxious, angry, excited, etc – no “fines” allowed). Creating a safe environment where people are able to share more about themselves will help these exercises to get deeper over time.
I’m also a big fan of using the MyersBriggs Type Assessments as a way to begin learning about each other and facilitating conversations to find similarities. For a fun and easy way to do this, check out www.16personalities.com.
Do you think being professional has affected our ability to connect? What ideas/ways do you think we can bring back heart and connection in the workplace?
