Failure The Right Way

Posted on November 16, 2017 by Bebuo-Christianne Ewa, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

How much failure does it take for you to reach success? Don’t fret, even Einstein had to get it wrong a couple times to find the right way.

For some of us, we require multiple failures before we reach complete success. In each failure, we also have the ability to gain clarity on how to achieve our goals and the ability to gain inner-strength and belief in self. What we do with our failures is what allows us to find success. We can choose to fail the right way or we can choose to fail the wrong way. What has been your choice until this very point?

How to fail the right way. (Stay with me here, this will be a quick yet fulfilling read). When was the last time you gave up on something and why? Think about how you felt when you decided to give up. Were you tired, upset, sad or lost? What was your motivation for completing your task (person, place, thing, self-fulfillment)? When we give up on a task, we have told ourselves that we cannot achieve this or we tell ourselves that we will try again later, subconsciously knowing that we won’t but why, why did we give up. Let’s look at an example of what happens when we succeed to help us visualize were our personal STOPS begin.

Imagine yourself practicing for a race. You are going to the gym three to four times a week. You are running in the park and enjoying the breeze and the blood pumping through your veins. You are eating well and feeling great and now it’s the day of the race. All the practicing you have done, led up to this one day and you’re off! You had a good start but you’re a bit behind. You can’t see them, but you know you have some support in the stands. You breathe a bit deeper and your adrenaline boost you into over-drive. Now, you’re gaining speed, passing the other racers on your left and right. The finish line is closing in. WOOHOO! You did it. Job well done. How do you feel? Basking in the glory of your win, other racers telling you to sign up for the next race, enjoying the fans clapping for you. This is it. This feels amazing. Now your back home. Things have calmed down from your ever so eventful. Are you ready to prep for the next one? I bet.

So, let’s recap on your feelings. You felt excited, strong, happy, energized, encouraged and motivated. Now, let’s take the same race and imagine it a bit differently.

You are going to the gym three to four times a week. You are running in the park and enjoying the breeze and the blood pumping through your veins. You are eating well and feeling okay. You cheated on your diet yesterday and had a cheeseburger at the neighbors’ barbecue and now it’s the day of the race. All the practicing you have done, led up to this one day and you’re off! You had a good start but you’re a bit behind. No one showed up to your race today because you forgot to invite them. You’re a bit worried and your left knee begins to hurt a bit. You tell yourself you have to cross the finish line because you put all this effort into this race so you keep going.

FINALLY! WOOHOO! You’ve made it. You’re last place and no one’s there to cheer you on but everything has frozen for you in this moment. You are staring down at the ground, knees in hands, sweating dripping from your temples, breathing hardened and you think, “I’ve made it. I kind of suck a bit right now but there is always next time. If I had just worn my knee band. I wish someone was here to see me off. Next time, next time.” Maybe next time you will do a bit better, maybe much better. Will you keep trying? Will you continue to add little goals to help you succeed?

Alright, let’s talk feelings again. Were you feeling some self-doubt, some pain, some sadness and loneliness? Were you also feeling the motivation, the promise and the hunger? Can you see how feelings become thoughts which produce actions and results? Where would you STOP?

Here are some TIPS to successfully failing:

Keep a POSITIVE outlook throughout your failures. (See failure as an obstacle to overcome and not the end of the road)
Take note of what you did and what changes you could make while remaining hopeful.
Set specific and achievable goals and continue to make changes to your routine/project by taking a deep look into your process and maintaining a positive outlook.
Find encouragement and motivation to continue to strive. (Family, friends, self, Me: Coach Christianne)
If you are looking for further assistance with turning failure into success in (career growth, work/life balance, parenting, health or relationships), you are welcome to email me or schedule a free consult with me.