The Truth Behind Happiness & Misery

Posted on January 29, 2018 by Patrick Manifold, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I’m constantly trying to reverse engineer emotions by studying those around me, those I read about in books, and those I watch online. The two main emotions I study are happiness and it’s ugly opposite counterpart; misery.

I’ll look at a happy person and ask myself “what are they doing in their lives that makes them consistently happy?” And then I’ll look at a miserable person and ask myself “what are their consistent behaviours that are causing them to be so miserable?”.

If you do this enough and I’ve been doing it for longer than I can remember you start to see patterns. Some are elusive, and some are obvious, but it’s one of the obvious ones I want to talk to you about today.

Perhaps one of if not THE most common contrasts between happy people and miserable people is this:
Happy people do what they love; miserable people don’t.

It sounds over simple, yet it describes the vast majority of the people experiencing those two polar opposite emotions. Happier people do more of what they love and less of what they don’t on a consistent basis. Fact. 

Now I’m not a wise old man who has studied philosophy on a mountain top for 80 years… so if I was able to figure out this ‘secret’ then surely others have too, right? Of course they have. Deep down everyone knows this… but for some reason the amount of people on this planet who are doing what they love everyday is astronomically outweighed by those doing almost everything but.
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Like most negative behaviours, this likely stems from fear and insecurity. Maybe it’s a fear of success or a fear of failure; or a fear of what those closest to you might think. Maybe it stems from an insecurity bestowed upon you by your parents that you should always take the safe option, and only special people get to chase their dreams. Or maybe it’s whatever your version of fear and insecurity is; and let’s face it, you have a seemingly endless, toxic buffet of choices to choose from. 
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Let’s take some real time data…
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Question 1: Do you do what you love to do consistently? Yes or no?
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Question 2: Would you say you were happy or miserable more often? (And misery can be any deep negative emotion such as fear, regret, sadness, anxiety, depression etc)
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In the comment section below I’d like you to answer like this:
Q1 – Yes or No. Q2 – Happy or Miserable.
(Or at least answer in your head if you’re too afraid to answer publicly) 
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You can choose to answer honestly, or you can choose to hide behind a white lie in order to conceal what you already know to be true. The choice is yours. But just so you know, you’re not fooling me, and you’re certainly not fooling yourself. The reward you get for ‘saving face’ is an existence instead of a life. Truth in all its forms is always the first step to a better life… even if it is difficult to admit. 
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Let’s say your truth was that you don’t do what you love to do consistently (or at all), and you experience more misery than happiness, on a daily basis. If that’s the case, here’s a truth bomb for you:
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OF COURSE YOU’RE MISERABLE IF YOU’RE NOT BEING AUTHENTIC TO WHO YOU REALLY ARE! HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO BE HAPPY LIVING SOMEONE ELSES VERSION OF ‘HAPPINESS’ INSTEAD OF YOUR OWN?
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If you’re reading this, and I’m describing you, then this is the time to act. Don’t keep putting it off. Don’t keep waiting for the perfect time to become your authentic self, because quite honestly, that time always has been, and always will be RIGHT NOW!
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I hope this post is the kick in the heart you needed, to finally after all these years of suffering to actually start living YOUR life as if YOU are the one in charge of it. Not your parents. Not your siblings. Not your friends, and certainly not society. YOU, and ONLY YOU!
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Happiness is simple, don’t try to overcomplicate it; just do more of what you love and less of what you don’t. And before you come up with an excuse and say “it’s not always as simple as that Patrick” well, maybe not, but… if happiness is important enough to you AND IT SHOULD BE then my ‘old faithful’ belief is all you need to know;
Where there’s a will there’s a way!
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For more inspiring articles like this one, follow Patrick on Instagram & Facebook where he posts almost every day.

#ManifoldMotivation | www.ManifoldMotivation.com