Resentment: The Bitter Indignation At Having Been Treated Unfairly
Posted on August 21, 2018 by Graham Kean, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Do you resent your boss, a work colleague, a family member or a friend because you have been forced to accept or do something you don't agree with?
Resentment is a mixture of disappointment, anger and fear. It comprises the three basic emotions of disgust, sadness and surprise- the perception of injustice. We all hold on to resentment towards someone at some stage of our lives.
The COST of holding on to RESENTMENT: relationships, trust, health, stress, self expression, well being, vitality, spirituality, progression…etc.
When you become aware that you are holding on to resentment there are 4 simple steps to take to let go of it:
These are done by yourself, although you can do them with a trusted friend.
1) Confess the full extent of your resentment: become fully aware of it describe it, what are you thoughts, what have you said and done. Do not blame the other, rant, or allow yourself to get angry again. This is not about justifying yourself.
2) Share the payoff: what have you been getting out of it? Being right (they are wrong), self-righteousness, doing it your way, false sense of power that feeds resentment, self-justification.
Keep watching out for blaming and justification, they creep in as resentment likes to stay around and find ways to take hold again.
3) Ask for, and offer, forgiveness: when you have full explored and acknowledged, it is time to ask for forgiveness for holding on to resentment for so long and for what has happened….if you find it hard to let go of resentment and ask for forgiveness go back to step two. Offer forgiveness, this is not condoning, it just means you are refusing to hold on to your ill-will.
4) Choose a new intention: if the process has been done fully you will have a desire to clear the decks and make a new start ♥
Graham Kean, MA (Psych), MMC (IAC)
To learn more, visit www.grahamkean.co.uk
